1
00:00:37,595 --> 00:00:40,177
In the beginning,
when I was first convicted,

2
00:00:40,261 --> 00:00:42,303
I felt like Alice
in Wonderland...

3
00:00:44,052 --> 00:00:46,636
down the rabbit hole
in this strange place

4
00:00:46,719 --> 00:00:48,177
that doesn't follow any rules

5
00:00:48,261 --> 00:00:50,177
that I'm used to
or anything like that.

6
00:00:56,428 --> 00:00:57,677
When I came out,

7
00:00:57,844 --> 00:01:00,802
I remember I went
to my hairstylist and...

8
00:01:01,553 --> 00:01:03,136
...I just gave a big sigh
and I said,

9
00:01:03,177 --> 00:01:05,261
"Okay, you're gonna
be my first experience

10
00:01:05,344 --> 00:01:09,094
with experimenting with how much
I say or don't say

11
00:01:09,179 --> 00:01:11,677
about where I've been
the past couple years

12
00:01:11,760 --> 00:01:14,094
and where I've been is,
I was in prison."

13
00:01:23,886 --> 00:01:25,344
My inclination, I mean,

14
00:01:25,469 --> 00:01:28,428
you know, here I am
sitting here doing this is,

15
00:01:29,136 --> 00:01:32,011
you know, I don't mind
people knowing because,

16
00:01:32,595 --> 00:01:35,261
you know, I'm not guilty
of a crime, so...

17
00:03:28,636 --> 00:03:29,553
No.

18
00:03:45,844 --> 00:03:47,094
Derrick, let's go.

19
00:03:51,927 --> 00:03:53,219
Are you ready to get up?

20
00:03:58,177 --> 00:04:01,469
Good morning.

21
00:04:03,802 --> 00:04:06,469
Come on. Come on.

22
00:04:10,219 --> 00:04:12,719
I remember
when they brought Derrick home

23
00:04:12,802 --> 00:04:13,927
from the hospital.

24
00:04:14,553 --> 00:04:16,927
And I was just disappointed
like, "I got a baby brother?"

25
00:04:17,011 --> 00:04:18,011
"I wanted a little sister."

26
00:04:21,011 --> 00:04:23,386
And then when they brought him
in the house and I saw him,

27
00:04:23,469 --> 00:04:25,177
there was, like,
an instant connection.

28
00:04:25,677 --> 00:04:29,303
Everything was fine, you know.
Nothing out of the ordinary.

29
00:04:32,886 --> 00:04:34,511
I just remember
that at a certain point,

30
00:04:34,595 --> 00:04:37,179
he became very listless,
he didn't move much.

31
00:04:42,386 --> 00:04:45,760
He wouldn't wake up.
You know, he slept all the time.

32
00:04:47,595 --> 00:04:49,760
He wasn't doing
what he was supposed to do.

33
00:04:49,844 --> 00:04:52,595
Like he wasn't sucking,
he wasn't holding his bottle.

34
00:04:53,553 --> 00:04:55,386
And he couldn't hold his head.

35
00:04:56,511 --> 00:04:58,844
I would ask the doctor, "Well,
what's wrong with Derrick?"

36
00:04:59,094 --> 00:05:00,386
And he said,
"Oh, you're comparing him

37
00:05:00,469 --> 00:05:03,344
to your older son?
He'll be all right."

38
00:05:03,719 --> 00:05:06,969
And I says, "No,
something's not right."

39
00:05:12,511 --> 00:05:15,303
Early on, Derrick had
a series of seizures.

40
00:05:19,719 --> 00:05:20,802
So then,
they took Derrick,

41
00:05:20,886 --> 00:05:22,886
they put him in a sound room,

42
00:05:24,177 --> 00:05:27,636
and they would do the lights
for his eyes to follow,

43
00:05:27,719 --> 00:05:29,719
and he just wouldn't react...

44
00:05:30,927 --> 00:05:31,802
or couldn't.

45
00:05:32,927 --> 00:05:36,303
And that's when they told me
that he has cerebral palsy.

46
00:05:37,179 --> 00:05:41,094
Mm-hmm. And he would never,
you know, be able to...

47
00:05:42,511 --> 00:05:46,553
do as normal children would do.

48
00:05:48,719 --> 00:05:50,344
Derrick visited
a few psychologists,

49
00:05:50,428 --> 00:05:51,344
they deemed him,

50
00:05:51,636 --> 00:05:53,677
as the term they used,
"mentally retarded."

51
00:05:53,886 --> 00:05:56,344
Non-verbal with cerebral palsy.

52
00:05:57,469 --> 00:05:59,344
You know, then not knowing
what the heck that meant,

53
00:05:59,469 --> 00:06:01,595
it just meant that Derrick
can't walk, Derrick can't talk.

54
00:06:02,177 --> 00:06:04,802
Yes. It's all gone.

55
00:06:10,219 --> 00:06:11,969
It's all gone, you're done.

56
00:06:13,052 --> 00:06:17,344
You're done. Mm-hmm. Okay.

57
00:06:32,969 --> 00:06:34,886
Take your hand off your ears.
What you want?

58
00:06:35,261 --> 00:06:37,969
What's the problem? Hmm?

59
00:06:43,052 --> 00:06:44,052
Okay.

60
00:07:10,719 --> 00:07:11,886
You know the routine.

61
00:07:14,052 --> 00:07:17,219
One finger, what's that?
You signing me?

62
00:07:33,553 --> 00:07:36,094
Eventually,
the seizures started to subside,

63
00:07:36,595 --> 00:07:38,677
but what his cognitive level
was,

64
00:07:39,179 --> 00:07:41,595
I didn't have a way
of assessing that.

65
00:07:42,969 --> 00:07:45,136
I know that he was listless
for a point in time,

66
00:07:45,177 --> 00:07:47,303
and then all of a sudden, there
was an awakening of sorts...

67
00:07:48,428 --> 00:07:50,677
where he was in the world.

68
00:07:56,553 --> 00:07:58,261
Whenever we would
lock eyes, like,

69
00:07:58,344 --> 00:08:02,011
there was recognition there.
I just began to see Derrick,

70
00:08:02,219 --> 00:08:04,677
you know,
develop his own personality

71
00:08:04,760 --> 00:08:06,511
and kind of come into his own.

72
00:08:06,595 --> 00:08:08,760
Oh, they were inseparable.

73
00:08:09,719 --> 00:08:11,511
Derrick would come home
after school,

74
00:08:11,886 --> 00:08:15,094
John would run home,
meet Derrick bus,

75
00:08:15,219 --> 00:08:19,052
get Derrick in the house,
call me, "Ma, we in the house."

76
00:08:19,177 --> 00:08:20,969
At a certain point,
I just threw him on my back.

77
00:08:21,344 --> 00:08:23,927
Play together,
get into mischief together,

78
00:08:24,094 --> 00:08:26,179
you know, wherever I go,
Derrick has to go.

79
00:08:31,886 --> 00:08:35,386
Derrick's a character.
You know, he loves to give hugs.

80
00:08:35,802 --> 00:08:37,886
He just loves to smile a lot,
you know.

81
00:08:38,052 --> 00:08:39,386
You know when he's happy.

82
00:08:40,802 --> 00:08:43,094
He used to do-- We call it
"The Stevie Wonder dance."

83
00:08:43,428 --> 00:08:45,386
You know, when Stevie Wonder
is playing on the piano

84
00:08:45,469 --> 00:08:46,469
and really,
he's feeling the music,

85
00:08:46,553 --> 00:08:48,177
and his head would sway
side-to-side,

86
00:08:48,261 --> 00:08:50,428
and so Derrick would do that
from time to time too.

87
00:08:50,511 --> 00:08:52,219
Especially in church
when he is like

88
00:08:52,344 --> 00:08:54,844
really feeling the music,
he...

89
00:09:00,886 --> 00:09:02,635
Sometimes, he's self-abusive.

90
00:09:02,719 --> 00:09:05,303
We can be somewhere
and then all of a sudden...

91
00:09:05,386 --> 00:09:06,677
...he'd put
his hand in his mouth

92
00:09:06,760 --> 00:09:08,802
and start banging his head
and his knee.

93
00:09:08,886 --> 00:09:11,303
And I don't know why.
Maybe he's frustrated,

94
00:09:12,344 --> 00:09:13,927
but he can't communicate.

95
00:09:14,760 --> 00:09:17,177
"So what is going on
in your head, Derrick?"

96
00:09:17,261 --> 00:09:18,386
Like, I really...

97
00:09:19,760 --> 00:09:22,553
To me,
that was the great mystery.

98
00:09:41,927 --> 00:09:43,052
Camera's rolling.

99
00:09:43,136 --> 00:09:44,219
Okay, everything's fine.

100
00:09:45,927 --> 00:09:48,886
Tell me the story
of how you met.

101
00:09:52,595 --> 00:09:56,802
I'm pretty sure,
or at least I'm hopeful

102
00:09:56,886 --> 00:10:01,677
that I haven't been rewriting
things in my head.

103
00:10:01,760 --> 00:10:04,511
I don't-- Didn't wanna do that.

104
00:10:04,595 --> 00:10:07,011
Like, you know,
I see how easily it can happen.

105
00:10:15,635 --> 00:10:18,052
Our next speaker
is Anna Stubblefield.

106
00:10:18,344 --> 00:10:21,927
The Director of the Philosophy
Department at Rutgers.

107
00:10:22,511 --> 00:10:25,261
Thanks, David.
Is that one working? This one?

108
00:10:25,760 --> 00:10:28,261
How's this one?
Ah. That's better. Okay.

109
00:10:29,136 --> 00:10:30,261
I was teaching

110
00:10:30,344 --> 00:10:32,886
in the American Studies
doctoral program

111
00:10:32,969 --> 00:10:33,969
at Rutgers, Newark.

112
00:10:34,094 --> 00:10:37,469
Race, class, gender,
and sexual orientation,

113
00:10:37,635 --> 00:10:40,635
and disability
are inextricably intertwined,

114
00:10:41,011 --> 00:10:44,469
such that none
of these concepts would exist

115
00:10:44,553 --> 00:10:46,179
as it does without the others.

116
00:10:46,802 --> 00:10:50,011
And John was one of my students.

117
00:10:51,635 --> 00:10:53,844
When I was doing
my PhD at Rutgers...

118
00:10:55,553 --> 00:10:56,927
When a person
cannot understand...

119
00:10:57,011 --> 00:11:00,094
...Anna Stubblefield
was a philosopher of race.

120
00:11:01,052 --> 00:11:03,886
And also had a class
about disability studies.

121
00:11:04,760 --> 00:11:07,927
Alongside theorizing
about disability and ethics,

122
00:11:08,303 --> 00:11:09,677
I also provide support

123
00:11:09,760 --> 00:11:12,303
to people labeled
with developmental disabilities.

124
00:11:12,886 --> 00:11:15,553
I work with people
who cannot communicate vocally,

125
00:11:16,052 --> 00:11:18,635
to provide them with access
to alternative forms

126
00:11:18,719 --> 00:11:20,760
of verbal expression
and to literacy.

127
00:11:21,052 --> 00:11:23,469
You know, while I grew up
with a disabled brother,

128
00:11:23,553 --> 00:11:25,428
I was not familiar
with disability studies,

129
00:11:25,595 --> 00:11:28,469
and I think as an instructor,
she was great.

130
00:11:28,969 --> 00:11:31,177
And as a scholar,
she was great as well.

131
00:11:34,136 --> 00:11:38,386
The course was looking
at the notion

132
00:11:38,469 --> 00:11:41,052
of intelligence as a concept.

133
00:11:43,052 --> 00:11:46,094
For example, the notion
that if somebody can't speak,

134
00:11:46,179 --> 00:11:47,802
it must be
because they're too stupid

135
00:11:47,886 --> 00:11:49,177
and there's just
nothing in their head.

136
00:11:49,469 --> 00:11:52,927
That just doesn't--
It's not the case.

137
00:11:53,219 --> 00:11:54,595
It's not the case.

138
00:11:54,760 --> 00:11:58,344
Lacking speech doesn't mean that
you don't have anything to say.

139
00:11:58,428 --> 00:12:00,303
It doesn't mean
that you can't use language...

140
00:12:00,927 --> 00:12:03,595
if somebody can just get you
access to a way to do it.

141
00:12:06,094 --> 00:12:08,179
Can you describe
what your world was like

142
00:12:08,219 --> 00:12:10,511
before you were able
to communicate?

143
00:12:14,927 --> 00:12:16,802
Can you describe that for me?

144
00:12:20,719 --> 00:12:23,219
Somewhere along the course,
we ended up watching this video.

145
00:12:23,303 --> 00:12:25,511
Sue-- Okay.

146
00:12:25,595 --> 00:12:27,802
The person that
was in the video had autism.

147
00:12:27,927 --> 00:12:29,136
I wanna go to grandma.

148
00:12:29,177 --> 00:12:30,261
You wanna go to grandma's?

149
00:12:30,344 --> 00:12:31,553
Wanna go to grandma.

150
00:12:31,635 --> 00:12:33,177
Yeah, grandma
is gonna come here.

151
00:12:33,261 --> 00:12:36,927
Sue Rubin, she's somebody
who's perceived by her parents

152
00:12:37,011 --> 00:12:40,386
and everybody as severely
intellectually impaired

153
00:12:40,635 --> 00:12:42,261
and just not there.

154
00:12:44,011 --> 00:12:44,969
-Yeah.
-Yeah.

155
00:12:45,136 --> 00:12:48,886
But then she's given access
to a way to communicate.

156
00:12:49,428 --> 00:12:50,553
When I was 13,

157
00:12:50,635 --> 00:12:52,428
my mother said
that she had seen someone

158
00:12:52,511 --> 00:12:55,136
start to communicate
using a keyboard in support.

159
00:12:56,635 --> 00:12:58,927
It's called
"facilitated communication."

160
00:13:00,261 --> 00:13:03,844
As I began to type,
my mind began to wake up.

161
00:13:05,094 --> 00:13:06,179
Bye-bye.

162
00:13:06,428 --> 00:13:07,719
The person
that was in the video

163
00:13:07,844 --> 00:13:08,802
used a keyboard...

164
00:13:09,844 --> 00:13:11,760
...and eventually, became
proficient enough to communicate

165
00:13:11,844 --> 00:13:13,927
the complexities of her life.

166
00:13:15,303 --> 00:13:17,177
She was able
to do college-level work

167
00:13:17,261 --> 00:13:19,511
and she graduated
with a dual major,

168
00:13:19,677 --> 00:13:22,303
et cetera, et cetera.
And this was her story.

169
00:13:23,635 --> 00:13:26,553
"I think I was lost..." W-A...

170
00:13:27,344 --> 00:13:32,261
"In some way. I acted
like my worst nightmare."

171
00:13:33,011 --> 00:13:35,677
Y-E... Yes.

172
00:13:37,927 --> 00:13:39,802
At that time,
I never heard anything

173
00:13:39,886 --> 00:13:42,344
about this facilitated
communication.

174
00:13:46,677 --> 00:13:49,595
After that class, John,
he said,

175
00:13:49,719 --> 00:13:53,595
"This woman in this film
reminds me a lot of my brother."

176
00:13:54,303 --> 00:13:58,052
"How she moves, how she looks,
and then I see her typing

177
00:13:58,136 --> 00:13:59,511
and she's going to college,

178
00:13:59,595 --> 00:14:02,303
and we've always been told
that my brother,

179
00:14:02,386 --> 00:14:04,428
you know, basically,
he should be institutionalized,

180
00:14:04,511 --> 00:14:06,428
but we've always felt

181
00:14:06,595 --> 00:14:09,760
that maybe there's something
more going on there."

182
00:14:10,635 --> 00:14:12,760
We recognized
that Derrick had a disability,

183
00:14:13,386 --> 00:14:15,386
but we never thought
that he was incapable

184
00:14:15,469 --> 00:14:17,303
of doing any number of things.

185
00:14:18,344 --> 00:14:21,428
I always knew that
there was something there.

186
00:14:22,677 --> 00:14:23,969
Like, right on cue,

187
00:14:24,179 --> 00:14:26,219
at certain points,
Derrick would say, "Ah, ah, ah."

188
00:14:26,303 --> 00:14:28,011
You know,
Derrick was paying attention.

189
00:14:28,094 --> 00:14:30,303
Derrick wanted to weigh in
on this discussion.

190
00:14:31,844 --> 00:14:33,052
When we would go
to get haircuts,

191
00:14:33,136 --> 00:14:34,927
I would sit there
and read the daily news,

192
00:14:35,261 --> 00:14:36,969
and Derrick would be sitting
next to me,

193
00:14:37,303 --> 00:14:38,344
and so every so often,

194
00:14:38,428 --> 00:14:39,844
Derrick would look
over my shoulder,

195
00:14:40,094 --> 00:14:42,635
and look in the newspaper, and--

196
00:14:42,886 --> 00:14:44,677
Was it a mimicking behavior?
Maybe.

197
00:14:45,595 --> 00:14:50,052
But he has this way of appearing
to be absorbing information.

198
00:14:50,511 --> 00:14:54,261
And so, there were dozens
of these kinds of moments

199
00:14:54,344 --> 00:14:55,677
through our lifetime.

200
00:14:58,802 --> 00:15:00,469
I love my brother to death,

201
00:15:00,677 --> 00:15:04,802
and I always want nothing
but the best for him.

202
00:15:04,927 --> 00:15:07,469
And so I asked her,

203
00:15:07,594 --> 00:15:10,594
"I'd love to hear more about
facilitated communication."

204
00:15:10,969 --> 00:15:12,136
"Who can I talk to?"

205
00:15:14,553 --> 00:15:15,802
I told them
the nearest place

206
00:15:15,886 --> 00:15:17,011
on the East Coast

207
00:15:17,179 --> 00:15:19,511
where there's support
for facilitated communication

208
00:15:19,635 --> 00:15:23,594
is Syracuse University,
but it's gonna be too expensive.

209
00:15:24,261 --> 00:15:27,927
So I said to John,
"If you wanted,

210
00:15:28,261 --> 00:15:32,261
I could at least just, kind of,
do some initial stuff,

211
00:15:32,344 --> 00:15:33,802
kind of see if it's working."

212
00:15:43,553 --> 00:15:45,886
She was Ms. Anna.

213
00:15:46,553 --> 00:15:48,469
You know,
she could do great things.

214
00:15:48,844 --> 00:15:51,386
She was gonna
move mountains and...

215
00:15:52,219 --> 00:15:55,969
I... accepted her at her word.

216
00:18:29,760 --> 00:18:33,303
When I was a child,
I came from an unusual family.

217
00:18:34,011 --> 00:18:36,011
My mom did work with people

218
00:18:36,094 --> 00:18:38,179
with a range
of physical disabilities,

219
00:18:38,219 --> 00:18:39,927
people
with intellectual disabilities

220
00:18:40,011 --> 00:18:40,927
who came to the house.

221
00:18:41,677 --> 00:18:43,719
My mom had a T-shirt
with a slogan,

222
00:18:43,886 --> 00:18:46,177
"Labels are for jars,
not people."

223
00:18:47,094 --> 00:18:52,177
I found disability interesting
because of that exposure.

224
00:18:52,344 --> 00:18:55,719
And so I got my dad to,

225
00:18:55,802 --> 00:18:57,344
you know,
build me a pair of crutches

226
00:18:57,428 --> 00:18:59,719
so I can, you know,
pretend to be post-polio

227
00:18:59,886 --> 00:19:02,261
or have cerebral palsy
or something like that.

228
00:19:02,428 --> 00:19:03,969
I'd, you know,
tie a blindfold on

229
00:19:04,052 --> 00:19:05,760
and spend all afternoon.

230
00:19:06,969 --> 00:19:08,303
During her elementary years,

231
00:19:08,428 --> 00:19:10,886
I taught her
how to write braille.

232
00:19:12,136 --> 00:19:14,386
At her request,
I got her a blind pen pal.

233
00:19:15,386 --> 00:19:17,469
She was interested
in sign language,

234
00:19:17,677 --> 00:19:19,886
and I think she may have
learned some of that.

235
00:19:20,177 --> 00:19:23,511
I was fascinated
by the way in which, you know,

236
00:19:23,594 --> 00:19:27,511
it's not really the impairment,
it's the environment

237
00:19:28,011 --> 00:19:30,511
that creates impairments
for people.

238
00:19:31,469 --> 00:19:34,719
Growing up, I got that message
very powerfully,

239
00:19:34,844 --> 00:19:36,927
how, in our society,
it's like we want everybody

240
00:19:37,011 --> 00:19:38,927
to walk through
the same sized door,

241
00:19:39,219 --> 00:19:40,760
and if you don't fit
in that door,

242
00:19:40,844 --> 00:19:42,179
there's something
wrong with you,

243
00:19:42,219 --> 00:19:44,469
and that doesn't have
to be that way.

244
00:19:47,802 --> 00:19:51,386
Welcome to the 1993 conference

245
00:19:51,469 --> 00:19:54,177
on facilitated communication
in Syracuse,

246
00:19:54,261 --> 00:19:57,969
sponsored by the Facilitated
Communication Institute

247
00:19:58,052 --> 00:19:59,553
at Syracuse University.

248
00:20:00,760 --> 00:20:03,802
I learned about
facilitated communication

249
00:20:04,011 --> 00:20:06,469
in December of 1990
at a conference.

250
00:20:09,052 --> 00:20:11,303
Rosemary Crossley reported

251
00:20:11,386 --> 00:20:14,219
on the work
she'd done in Australia.

252
00:20:16,760 --> 00:20:21,094
I had done some work
with a girl named Anne McDonald

253
00:20:21,179 --> 00:20:24,344
who had athetoid cerebral palsy.

254
00:20:24,469 --> 00:20:28,094
Couldn't move her hands.
Couldn't speak.

255
00:20:28,594 --> 00:20:29,594
There was nothing.

256
00:20:30,594 --> 00:20:32,886
We had a spelling board,

257
00:20:32,969 --> 00:20:35,511
but because she had
cerebral palsy,

258
00:20:35,886 --> 00:20:38,261
her hands would move so much

259
00:20:38,428 --> 00:20:41,303
that she couldn't actually
hit a target.

260
00:20:42,011 --> 00:20:46,261
I tried, what would happen
if I supported her...

261
00:20:47,511 --> 00:20:49,802
under her upper arm,

262
00:20:49,886 --> 00:20:53,553
she could then move
from the elbow

263
00:20:53,844 --> 00:20:59,177
and do better
in selecting items.

264
00:21:01,052 --> 00:21:04,094
And it turned out
that she could spell.

265
00:21:05,303 --> 00:21:09,760
She was very smart.
We gave her the page turner,

266
00:21:10,177 --> 00:21:12,886
so that every time
she hit a button,

267
00:21:12,969 --> 00:21:14,177
the page would turn.

268
00:21:14,719 --> 00:21:18,303
And suddenly,
she could read books.

269
00:21:19,927 --> 00:21:22,344
As soon as I heard
their presentation,

270
00:21:22,428 --> 00:21:24,052
I knew that's what I needed.

271
00:21:25,011 --> 00:21:26,886
This is how to help
all these kids

272
00:21:27,179 --> 00:21:28,511
who I used to work with.

273
00:21:35,428 --> 00:21:36,844
My mother
was one of the first people

274
00:21:36,927 --> 00:21:39,136
in the country who started
doing training workshops

275
00:21:39,261 --> 00:21:41,094
in facilitated communication.

276
00:21:43,179 --> 00:21:45,136
When she came back
and started using it,

277
00:21:45,303 --> 00:21:47,261
she was videotaping everybody,

278
00:21:47,469 --> 00:21:49,594
and I ended up being the one
who ran the camera,

279
00:21:49,677 --> 00:21:52,428
so I was there
when she first started using it.

280
00:21:52,511 --> 00:21:55,052
I was part of that moment.

281
00:21:59,011 --> 00:22:01,303
To see people for the first time

282
00:22:01,428 --> 00:22:06,428
be able to type out something...
Being part of that was,

283
00:22:06,594 --> 00:22:08,886
you know...
...was amazing.

284
00:22:09,011 --> 00:22:11,303
We find that once we open
this world for the kids,

285
00:22:11,386 --> 00:22:14,052
they are social now,
they are appropriate,

286
00:22:14,136 --> 00:22:16,219
they do have language,
they do understand.

287
00:22:16,428 --> 00:22:17,969
I couldn't believe
what I was seeing.

288
00:22:18,052 --> 00:22:21,344
Cherise has typed 120 poems,
nine short stories.

289
00:22:21,428 --> 00:22:23,219
She talks about
everything she feels.

290
00:22:25,179 --> 00:22:29,261
We understood
that people knew

291
00:22:29,344 --> 00:22:32,219
what it was they wanted
to communicate.

292
00:22:32,760 --> 00:22:36,261
And we needed to just provide
some means

293
00:22:36,344 --> 00:22:38,802
to make that possible,
physically.

294
00:22:48,844 --> 00:22:50,177
When I met Derrick,

295
00:22:50,760 --> 00:22:52,969
I'd been told
he had cerebral palsy

296
00:22:53,052 --> 00:22:54,969
and that was all.

297
00:22:56,219 --> 00:22:58,802
He walks. He needs
to hold on to somebody's arm.

298
00:22:58,886 --> 00:23:00,052
Have a little support.

299
00:23:01,552 --> 00:23:05,179
He can focus his gaze,
but his eyes kind of go off,

300
00:23:05,219 --> 00:23:06,386
his head turns.

301
00:23:07,052 --> 00:23:08,844
If you're not used to that,

302
00:23:08,927 --> 00:23:13,428
we see that as signs
of lack of intelligence.

303
00:23:13,511 --> 00:23:15,428
I've seen enough people
like that in my life

304
00:23:15,511 --> 00:23:17,428
to know that
that's simply not true.

305
00:23:17,511 --> 00:23:20,719
So, I don't register things
that way.

306
00:23:23,552 --> 00:23:26,344
So, I had just cut out
some pictures from magazines

307
00:23:26,428 --> 00:23:28,177
or drawn some pictures.

308
00:23:28,802 --> 00:23:30,177
John and Daisy
are in the room watching,

309
00:23:30,261 --> 00:23:32,344
and I said to Derrick,

310
00:23:33,052 --> 00:23:34,927
"You know,
I'm gonna ask you some questions

311
00:23:35,052 --> 00:23:38,719
and I'm not asking them
because I don't think

312
00:23:38,802 --> 00:23:40,179
you're smart enough
or anything."

313
00:23:40,219 --> 00:23:41,844
"I just wanna see what happens

314
00:23:41,927 --> 00:23:43,219
when you try
to point to something."

315
00:23:46,303 --> 00:23:50,386
So I watched and he would
kind of start moving his arm.

316
00:23:50,511 --> 00:23:51,802
It would go a little ways,

317
00:23:51,927 --> 00:23:54,136
and then he had this kind
of muscle jerk reaction,

318
00:23:54,177 --> 00:23:55,969
which turned out
to be very typical.

319
00:23:56,594 --> 00:23:58,969
You can see how hard he works

320
00:23:59,303 --> 00:24:03,303
to try to have the least little
bit of control over his arm

321
00:24:03,511 --> 00:24:05,011
and it's slow.

322
00:24:06,677 --> 00:24:08,386
If you've got cerebral palsy,

323
00:24:08,469 --> 00:24:10,594
you might be able
to get your hand

324
00:24:10,677 --> 00:24:13,635
to something you're pointing at,
but it might take you a minute.

325
00:24:13,844 --> 00:24:15,594
How do you have
a conversation like that?

326
00:24:17,969 --> 00:24:21,469
So I had started with just
a little support on his elbow

327
00:24:21,552 --> 00:24:23,886
and that was it initially,
that freed him up enough,

328
00:24:24,052 --> 00:24:26,261
and then he could select
which picture he wanted.

329
00:24:31,969 --> 00:24:33,011
So, so far so good.

330
00:24:35,303 --> 00:24:37,760
Then, I said,
"Now what I wanted to do is

331
00:24:37,844 --> 00:24:40,179
see where you're at
with literacy."

332
00:24:40,844 --> 00:24:43,177
So, I had cards
that just had letters on them.

333
00:24:43,677 --> 00:24:48,261
Kind of like doing Boggles.
So you have A, B, C, and T.

334
00:24:48,344 --> 00:24:50,760
You can spell cat,
you can spell bat.

335
00:24:51,177 --> 00:24:54,886
And when I asked him to spell
as many words as he could

336
00:24:55,177 --> 00:24:56,969
using these four letters,

337
00:24:57,052 --> 00:24:59,927
he made a very good
showing with that.

338
00:25:01,969 --> 00:25:04,469
But it's one thing
to reach your whole hand

339
00:25:04,552 --> 00:25:06,719
toward a very large target.

340
00:25:07,177 --> 00:25:12,179
It's an entirely different thing
to get one finger pushing a key.

341
00:25:13,136 --> 00:25:16,179
So I had this small,

342
00:25:16,219 --> 00:25:17,719
very light-weight
portable keyboard

343
00:25:17,927 --> 00:25:20,802
with a small LED display
called the Neo.

344
00:25:21,469 --> 00:25:25,844
I ended up where I was keeping
his fingers folded down

345
00:25:25,927 --> 00:25:28,219
so that his index finger
was isolated.

346
00:25:30,219 --> 00:25:35,344
And the first thing I asked him
to do was point to the letter H,

347
00:25:35,428 --> 00:25:36,594
the letter T.

348
00:25:36,844 --> 00:25:41,303
And he started making mistakes.
So, he mixed up the A and the H.

349
00:25:41,469 --> 00:25:45,594
And he mixed up the T and the F
and the U and the V.

350
00:25:46,303 --> 00:25:49,136
What I realized
was that the alphabetical order

351
00:25:49,344 --> 00:25:50,927
or letter board
that I had set up

352
00:25:51,011 --> 00:25:52,344
were all lowercase letters

353
00:25:52,428 --> 00:25:56,177
and on the Neo,
it's capital letters and so,

354
00:25:56,261 --> 00:25:57,635
the difference
between the A and the H

355
00:25:57,719 --> 00:25:59,969
was one little line
across the top of the A,

356
00:26:00,052 --> 00:26:01,177
that sort of thing.

357
00:26:01,886 --> 00:26:03,386
When he was making
those mistakes,

358
00:26:03,469 --> 00:26:04,927
I just said,
"No. No, you're wrong."

359
00:26:05,011 --> 00:26:06,844
You know, "I asked for the A,
you hit the H."

360
00:26:06,927 --> 00:26:08,179
"Here's the A here."

361
00:26:08,219 --> 00:26:09,635
And then I went through
some other letters,

362
00:26:09,719 --> 00:26:10,969
and then I would go back.

363
00:26:11,052 --> 00:26:12,886
He didn't make
the same mistake twice.

364
00:26:15,677 --> 00:26:20,177
So he was a really fast learner.
Tell him once, he's got it.

365
00:26:23,802 --> 00:26:25,344
It was, like,

366
00:26:26,052 --> 00:26:28,219
the porch lights went on,
and I was like,

367
00:26:28,303 --> 00:26:29,635
"Wow, is he doing it?"

368
00:26:30,635 --> 00:26:33,927
And I felt
very excited about it.

369
00:26:36,219 --> 00:26:39,844
She said, "Don't forget,
you're traveling with him."

370
00:26:40,179 --> 00:26:42,469
"You're taking him places."

371
00:26:43,552 --> 00:26:47,552
"And when you're taking him,
he's reading the signs."

372
00:26:47,969 --> 00:26:50,511
And, you know, I'm Mama.

373
00:26:52,094 --> 00:26:54,094
Tell me what my sons can do.

374
00:26:58,179 --> 00:26:59,011
I was elated.

375
00:26:59,094 --> 00:27:02,344
I mean, I always knew that
there was something there.

376
00:27:02,844 --> 00:27:04,719
And so in a way,

377
00:27:04,802 --> 00:27:07,386
it somewhat confirmed
what I'd already knew.

378
00:27:08,511 --> 00:27:09,802
And the school that he attended,

379
00:27:09,886 --> 00:27:11,844
the Essex County
Day Training Program,

380
00:27:12,177 --> 00:27:14,677
they had did
some remarkable things with him.

381
00:27:16,469 --> 00:27:18,469
They were able to get him
to the point where he can,

382
00:27:18,552 --> 00:27:19,969
you know, walk on his own.

383
00:27:21,136 --> 00:27:24,344
But there was this question
of intellectual capacity.

384
00:27:24,594 --> 00:27:27,760
And so, to have this revelation

385
00:27:27,927 --> 00:27:29,219
that Derrick can do
these things,

386
00:27:29,303 --> 00:27:31,094
it was just like, "Wow."

387
00:27:31,802 --> 00:27:33,927
I knew it was there.
I'm just happy for him.

388
00:27:48,719 --> 00:27:50,635
You know, he's... You know...

389
00:27:51,927 --> 00:27:52,927
Okay.

390
00:27:59,094 --> 00:28:00,760
One day,
when Derrick came

391
00:28:00,844 --> 00:28:02,844
and I just asked him,
you know, "Did you do anything

392
00:28:02,927 --> 00:28:06,886
particularly interesting
this week?" And he typed "GM."

393
00:28:08,052 --> 00:28:11,052
His spelling was very,
very creative in the beginning.

394
00:28:11,428 --> 00:28:14,469
And I said, "Hmm, you know,
did you play a game?"

395
00:28:14,552 --> 00:28:15,969
"Was this some kind of game?"
"No."

396
00:28:16,886 --> 00:28:22,344
"Gym. You go to the gym?" "Yes."
And then Daisy popped in with a,

397
00:28:22,428 --> 00:28:25,552
"Oh, yeah, his Day Program
had gone to a health club

398
00:28:25,635 --> 00:28:28,844
and he had walked on a treadmill
and he really enjoyed that."

399
00:28:30,386 --> 00:28:34,052
At that point, Daisy had stepped
outside the room.

400
00:28:34,760 --> 00:28:36,386
And I said, "You know what,
it's occurring to me

401
00:28:36,469 --> 00:28:39,719
that I never actually asked you
what you like to be called."

402
00:28:39,802 --> 00:28:41,344
"Your brother told me
your name was Derrick,

403
00:28:41,428 --> 00:28:43,219
and you came in, and I've been
calling you Derrick."

404
00:28:43,802 --> 00:28:46,136
"Tell me, what do you
want me to call you?"

405
00:28:48,344 --> 00:28:51,886
And he typed D-M-A-N.

406
00:28:53,635 --> 00:28:55,052
And I was looking at that

407
00:28:55,219 --> 00:28:57,469
and it didn't look like
any name that I recognized.

408
00:28:58,428 --> 00:29:01,428
Daisy came back in the room
at that point and I said,

409
00:29:01,511 --> 00:29:06,303
"He typed D-M-A-N.
Does that mean anything to you?"

410
00:29:06,802 --> 00:29:09,886
She said, "Oh,
he had this really great teacher

411
00:29:09,969 --> 00:29:11,760
back when he was about
13 years old."

412
00:29:11,927 --> 00:29:13,969
"He used to call him D-Man."
"That was the teacher

413
00:29:14,052 --> 00:29:15,886
who got him
out of the wheelchair

414
00:29:15,969 --> 00:29:17,303
and got him walking."

415
00:29:17,844 --> 00:29:20,760
So I said, "Is she right?"
Then he said, "Yes."

416
00:29:22,219 --> 00:29:24,927
So, I called him DMan
from there.

417
00:29:26,802 --> 00:29:28,635
That was a really
important moment,

418
00:29:29,344 --> 00:29:32,760
being able to tell people
what you wanna be called

419
00:29:32,844 --> 00:29:36,428
is this important
emotional aspect of life

420
00:29:36,511 --> 00:29:39,760
that we take away from people
when they can't speak.

421
00:29:59,719 --> 00:30:02,136
DMan and I saw each other
several hours a week.

422
00:30:03,386 --> 00:30:05,927
And over the course
of the year as he speeded up,

423
00:30:06,011 --> 00:30:07,510
as his spelling got
a little better...

424
00:30:08,844 --> 00:30:11,136
it went
from a couple-word answers...

425
00:30:13,011 --> 00:30:14,969
to five-word answers...

426
00:30:16,844 --> 00:30:19,179
to a whole sentence,
to a couple of sentences.

427
00:30:21,927 --> 00:30:23,177
So by the end of a year,

428
00:30:23,261 --> 00:30:26,469
we could really have
a decent conversation.

429
00:30:28,094 --> 00:30:30,136
And he could
then be more expressive

430
00:30:30,177 --> 00:30:32,886
and more detailed
about what he had to say

431
00:30:32,969 --> 00:30:35,844
and that was real progress.
That's huge.

432
00:30:42,136 --> 00:30:43,177
I didn't really feel like

433
00:30:43,261 --> 00:30:45,052
I was getting
to know him as a person

434
00:30:45,136 --> 00:30:47,428
until he got to that stage.

435
00:30:57,177 --> 00:30:59,177
Somewhat early on,
Anna had started saying

436
00:30:59,261 --> 00:31:02,677
Derrick had the intellectual
capacity to do high-level work,

437
00:31:02,760 --> 00:31:04,886
and to put sentences together,

438
00:31:04,969 --> 00:31:06,510
and do all
these different things.

439
00:31:06,969 --> 00:31:08,386
I was like,
"Whoa, this is great."

440
00:31:09,052 --> 00:31:11,552
She told us, "Because Derrick
was hanging around you all

441
00:31:11,635 --> 00:31:14,386
for so long, and listened
to your conversations,

442
00:31:14,469 --> 00:31:18,177
and you went to movies,
and you would watch TV,

443
00:31:18,261 --> 00:31:21,052
and so he's absorbing
all of these things,

444
00:31:21,136 --> 00:31:23,552
and so that's how he built
his body of knowledge." And...

445
00:31:24,219 --> 00:31:26,760
And without, you know,
going through a peer reviewed...

446
00:31:26,844 --> 00:31:29,219
...assessment
of those assertions.

447
00:31:29,303 --> 00:31:30,802
I was like, "Okay.
I'll buy that. Cool."

448
00:31:37,635 --> 00:31:40,261
One of the things
that really bothered him

449
00:31:40,344 --> 00:31:42,552
was that he hadn't had
the opportunity

450
00:31:42,635 --> 00:31:45,635
to get a formal education
of any sort.

451
00:31:45,719 --> 00:31:47,886
His brother was getting
a doctoral degree.

452
00:31:47,969 --> 00:31:50,760
So, he had watched his brother
and the whole process

453
00:31:50,844 --> 00:31:54,594
and he really, really, really
wanted to have that also.

454
00:31:56,344 --> 00:31:59,261
So there was a course being
offered on Saturday mornings

455
00:31:59,344 --> 00:32:00,510
at Rutgers Newark.

456
00:32:00,594 --> 00:32:02,677
It was an African American
literature course.

457
00:32:02,802 --> 00:32:04,969
And that looked
really interesting to him.

458
00:32:14,136 --> 00:32:15,136
I guess the idea

459
00:32:15,177 --> 00:32:17,303
was for Derrick
to go to a class,

460
00:32:17,386 --> 00:32:19,219
possibly write papers,
or at least,

461
00:32:19,303 --> 00:32:21,844
be able to show the work
that may put him in line

462
00:32:21,927 --> 00:32:23,844
to then go and pursue a BA.

463
00:32:24,594 --> 00:32:27,719
I was getting towards the end
of my PhD program. And so,

464
00:32:28,052 --> 00:32:30,844
you know, this kind of thing,
you know, Black scholar.

465
00:32:30,927 --> 00:32:32,219
My baby brother was developing--

466
00:32:32,303 --> 00:32:34,386
Said he was gonna be a Black--
Could be a Black scholar.

467
00:32:34,469 --> 00:32:36,094
I felt great.

468
00:32:39,261 --> 00:32:41,469
I sat
in the class with him

469
00:32:41,552 --> 00:32:44,219
and provided
communication support for class.

470
00:32:55,760 --> 00:32:57,552
We ended up
finding him a student

471
00:32:57,719 --> 00:33:00,635
who would facilitate DMan
for doing part of the homework.

472
00:33:00,844 --> 00:33:02,552
Her name was Sheronda Jones.

473
00:33:02,635 --> 00:33:04,802
Sheronda met with him
outside of class

474
00:33:04,886 --> 00:33:07,261
for several hours a week,
so he could read the book

475
00:33:07,344 --> 00:33:10,219
and then at least take a crack
at writing the essay.

476
00:33:10,969 --> 00:33:14,052
She had never taken this class.
She never read the books.

477
00:33:14,219 --> 00:33:15,927
She just provided the support.

478
00:33:31,844 --> 00:33:33,510
He wasn't doing
400-level writing.

479
00:33:34,386 --> 00:33:37,469
But he was correctly identifying
characters and plot elements.

480
00:33:37,552 --> 00:33:39,886
He clearly had read the book
and understood the book.

481
00:33:57,760 --> 00:34:00,179
From 1619, when 20 of us

482
00:34:00,219 --> 00:34:01,802
were sold by a Dutch ship...

483
00:34:02,386 --> 00:34:05,094
One day in class,
the professor started it out

484
00:34:05,179 --> 00:34:10,303
by showing a film
on the entire African diaspora.

485
00:34:12,635 --> 00:34:15,261
And DMan wrote something.

486
00:34:18,219 --> 00:34:21,011
He wasn't expressing
himself as articulately

487
00:34:21,094 --> 00:34:23,094
as I knew he was capable of.

488
00:34:23,219 --> 00:34:25,386
And I was typing back to him
because we were in class.

489
00:34:25,469 --> 00:34:27,011
So I typed back.

490
00:34:27,177 --> 00:34:28,969
I mean,
what if he said it this way,

491
00:34:29,052 --> 00:34:30,886
wouldn't this be better?

492
00:34:32,594 --> 00:34:35,469
And he typed,
"I know what you're saying

493
00:34:35,552 --> 00:34:37,303
but just read it
the way I wrote it."

494
00:34:37,428 --> 00:34:38,802
And I said, "Okay. Fair enough."

495
00:34:38,886 --> 00:34:40,969
And then we got called on
right at that point.

496
00:34:42,344 --> 00:34:43,552
I couldn't resist.

497
00:34:43,635 --> 00:34:46,802
I was sort of editing slightly
as I read,

498
00:34:46,886 --> 00:34:48,969
which all it did
was make it worse.

499
00:34:49,760 --> 00:34:50,886
Screwed up the whole thing.

500
00:34:51,219 --> 00:34:54,635
But I got to the end
and the discussion went on.

501
00:34:55,303 --> 00:34:56,344
He typed,

502
00:34:57,177 --> 00:35:01,719
"Never ever, ever,
ever, ever, ever do that again."

503
00:35:02,844 --> 00:35:07,886
I can tell DMan mad.
This was DMan furious.

504
00:35:08,510 --> 00:35:10,886
And I typed back,
"I'm so sorry."

505
00:35:11,094 --> 00:35:14,303
And he said, "I'm not mad,
but don't ever do that again."

506
00:35:14,677 --> 00:35:18,219
Because, you know, I did speak
for him and that was wrong.

507
00:35:19,219 --> 00:35:20,136
Needless to say,

508
00:35:20,177 --> 00:35:23,344
I never did it before,
and I never did it since.

509
00:35:23,635 --> 00:35:25,594
But he was pissed.

510
00:37:12,552 --> 00:37:15,261
About a year
after DMan started typing,

511
00:37:15,386 --> 00:37:19,179
my mother was organizing
this panel with other FC users

512
00:37:19,303 --> 00:37:22,261
for the Society for Disabilities
Studies Conference,

513
00:37:22,635 --> 00:37:25,179
and she asked if he wanted
to be part of the panel.

514
00:37:27,886 --> 00:37:31,052
I like to arrange at conferences

515
00:37:31,386 --> 00:37:36,179
that people with disabilities
can actually do some presenting.

516
00:37:39,510 --> 00:37:40,677
What I had noticed was that

517
00:37:40,760 --> 00:37:42,844
in terms of the FC community,

518
00:37:43,052 --> 00:37:44,344
Derrick was the only
African American.

519
00:37:44,719 --> 00:37:47,052
And so this is a very
White space

520
00:37:47,136 --> 00:37:48,760
and in a way Derrick was a...

521
00:37:49,802 --> 00:37:54,094
a pathbreaker, a trailblazer,
the Jackie Robinson of FC.

522
00:37:56,802 --> 00:37:58,261
The panel was on the right

523
00:37:58,344 --> 00:37:59,635
to communication clause

524
00:37:59,719 --> 00:38:03,219
and the UN convention
on disability rights.

525
00:38:03,303 --> 00:38:04,594
But I said to him, "Don't worry

526
00:38:04,677 --> 00:38:07,179
about the official topic
of the panel."

527
00:38:07,219 --> 00:38:10,635
"Just write something
about the right to communicate

528
00:38:10,719 --> 00:38:13,219
or what it means to you
to be able to communicate."

529
00:38:13,303 --> 00:38:16,510
We wanted to be able

530
00:38:16,594 --> 00:38:18,261
to refer to some
of the literature.

531
00:38:18,344 --> 00:38:20,677
I was getting books for him,
Steven Pinker,

532
00:38:20,760 --> 00:38:21,927
this neurologist who’s written

533
00:38:22,011 --> 00:38:24,179
about language being
very hardwired.

534
00:38:24,428 --> 00:38:26,219
I got him some Piaget.

535
00:38:26,886 --> 00:38:29,261
It wasn't much,
but it was to give him a taste.

536
00:38:30,635 --> 00:38:31,760
So,
he was reading the books,

537
00:38:31,844 --> 00:38:33,886
we were talking about things.

538
00:38:34,428 --> 00:38:39,386
What he wrote for the panel
was very impressive to me.

539
00:38:39,760 --> 00:38:44,510
It was less than a page
but he had a choice of words,

540
00:38:44,594 --> 00:38:47,344
a way of phrasing things.
It really struck me.

541
00:38:55,886 --> 00:38:59,552
I just became more
and more aware that, you know,

542
00:38:59,719 --> 00:39:04,179
this was a man who was very
insightful and very thoughtful.

543
00:39:05,261 --> 00:39:07,179
He spent a lot
of time sitting around

544
00:39:07,219 --> 00:39:08,594
and he was sitting
around thinking,

545
00:39:09,052 --> 00:39:12,261
and give him some ideas
and something to work with,

546
00:39:12,344 --> 00:39:16,177
and he was just digging in
and seeing stuff.

547
00:39:17,927 --> 00:39:19,303
That is what I--

548
00:39:19,510 --> 00:39:21,386
I mean, that's what I like
in my friends.

549
00:39:21,468 --> 00:39:24,011
That's honestly,
what I like in men.

550
00:39:27,136 --> 00:39:27,969
You know,

551
00:39:28,052 --> 00:39:29,760
I'm the kind
of nerdy intellectual girl

552
00:39:29,844 --> 00:39:32,261
who wants a nerdy
intellectual guy.

553
00:39:35,510 --> 00:39:38,094
You know, you could find
you really enjoy talking to them

554
00:39:38,179 --> 00:39:42,136
and, you know, you share taste,
but you also disagree on things,

555
00:39:42,303 --> 00:39:43,177
but you learn from it.

556
00:39:43,261 --> 00:39:45,510
I mean, we were just having
those kinds of experiences.

557
00:39:47,136 --> 00:39:49,177
But, you know, I was married.

558
00:39:49,261 --> 00:39:52,386
My marriage wasn't terrific,
but I wasn't, in any way,

559
00:39:52,468 --> 00:39:54,760
thinking about going
outside the relationship.

560
00:39:54,886 --> 00:39:57,219
I wasn't shopping around.
It was nothing like that.

561
00:39:58,011 --> 00:40:00,802
At the time, if you'd asked me,

562
00:40:00,969 --> 00:40:03,635
"how do you feel about DMan?"
It's, "Yeah, he's my friend."

563
00:40:16,594 --> 00:40:17,760
I just really, really liked him

564
00:40:17,844 --> 00:40:19,510
and I really,
really enjoyed his company,

565
00:40:19,594 --> 00:40:21,261
and I was really impressed
by him.

566
00:40:38,886 --> 00:40:40,969
In March of 2011,

567
00:40:41,052 --> 00:40:44,052
I invited DMan to speak
to an undergraduate class

568
00:40:44,136 --> 00:40:46,552
where we were talking
about disability issues.

569
00:40:47,219 --> 00:40:49,011
So, students
were asking him questions

570
00:40:49,094 --> 00:40:50,303
and somebody asked him about,

571
00:40:50,386 --> 00:40:52,052
you know, what his hopes
and dreams were

572
00:40:52,136 --> 00:40:53,969
and he talked about
going to college

573
00:40:54,052 --> 00:40:56,261
and maybe being
a writer someday,

574
00:40:56,344 --> 00:40:58,177
which was kind
of where he was heading.

575
00:40:58,552 --> 00:41:02,802
And then somebody else
in the class said to him,

576
00:41:03,468 --> 00:41:06,179
you know, "What about love,
what about relationships,

577
00:41:06,219 --> 00:41:08,510
is that something
that you hope for?"

578
00:41:10,510 --> 00:41:14,344
And he typed,
"I want that more than anything

579
00:41:14,428 --> 00:41:15,635
but that doesn't happen

580
00:41:15,719 --> 00:41:18,344
for people with disabilities
like mine..."

581
00:41:21,219 --> 00:41:24,760
And... in that moment,

582
00:41:26,052 --> 00:41:29,468
I mean what I wanted to say
was... ...I almost,

583
00:41:29,969 --> 00:41:31,428
you know...

584
00:41:31,594 --> 00:41:33,510
...I-- You know,
"You can have that with me."

585
00:41:38,886 --> 00:41:41,886
I started
thinking about,

586
00:41:41,969 --> 00:41:44,969
"Okay. Well, wow,
if this is the way I'm feeling,

587
00:41:45,052 --> 00:41:46,886
okay, I've got
to think about this."

588
00:41:46,969 --> 00:41:49,344
And I didn't-- I still didn't
want to say anything to him.

589
00:41:49,428 --> 00:41:51,219
I was like, "Okay,
I've gotta figure this out."

590
00:41:51,303 --> 00:41:54,677
I mean,
I had my husband and my kids.

591
00:41:56,177 --> 00:41:58,094
I mean-- Okay.
I'm in love with DMan.

592
00:41:58,179 --> 00:41:59,844
I realize this now but...

593
00:42:00,510 --> 00:42:01,552
I'm not gonna say anything.

594
00:42:01,635 --> 00:42:03,969
I have to sort all of this out.
It was awkward.

595
00:42:06,802 --> 00:42:09,303
Then I saw him
about a week later,

596
00:42:09,719 --> 00:42:13,261
and I found myself saying
that I helped the other people

597
00:42:13,344 --> 00:42:15,594
that I do
facilitated communication with

598
00:42:15,677 --> 00:42:18,261
because I believe
so strongly that

599
00:42:18,386 --> 00:42:20,844
everyone has a right
to communication.

600
00:42:22,386 --> 00:42:23,303
And-- But I said,

601
00:42:23,386 --> 00:42:25,844
"I do what I do for you
because I love you."

602
00:42:26,760 --> 00:42:29,927
And he typed...
he typed, "I know."

603
00:42:31,094 --> 00:42:32,386
"I love you too."

604
00:42:33,927 --> 00:42:35,802
And...
...I said, "I know."

605
00:42:38,594 --> 00:42:41,136
He'd asked me to kiss him
and I did.

606
00:42:42,094 --> 00:42:45,760
And then he said,
"Kiss me again."

607
00:42:45,844 --> 00:42:50,677
And I did.
And he said, "So, now what?"

608
00:43:17,510 --> 00:43:19,594
As things went along,

609
00:43:20,052 --> 00:43:22,635
Derrick started going on
the speaking circuit, I guess.

610
00:43:22,719 --> 00:43:24,179
Going to these conferences
and all.

611
00:43:24,844 --> 00:43:27,261
And there started
to be some tension.

612
00:43:31,635 --> 00:43:32,927
We were driving
to this event,

613
00:43:33,011 --> 00:43:34,344
in suburban Trenton somewhere,

614
00:43:34,428 --> 00:43:36,468
and my mama's playing
gospel music...

615
00:43:37,927 --> 00:43:40,927
...and Anna goes
and turns the station.

616
00:43:44,468 --> 00:43:45,802
And puts on classical music.

617
00:43:47,177 --> 00:43:49,344
Derrick doesn't wanna hear this,
he wants to hear that.

618
00:43:49,594 --> 00:43:52,136
She had ejected my gospel music.

619
00:43:52,760 --> 00:43:55,219
So I hit it and it
went back to play.

620
00:43:57,261 --> 00:43:58,344
Derrick loves gospel.

621
00:43:58,468 --> 00:43:59,927
He goes to church,
he hears the music.

622
00:44:00,969 --> 00:44:03,011
That assumption that he prefers

623
00:44:03,094 --> 00:44:04,552
a high culture
of classical music

624
00:44:04,677 --> 00:44:06,094
and not the low culture
of gospel,

625
00:44:06,179 --> 00:44:09,428
I mean it was just
too much of a leap.

626
00:44:21,386 --> 00:44:23,179
There were
different things that--

627
00:44:23,344 --> 00:44:26,052
One day,
when we broke for lunch,

628
00:44:26,635 --> 00:44:28,344
I was cutting up his chicken,

629
00:44:28,677 --> 00:44:30,927
and she rolled over
to the table and said,

630
00:44:31,719 --> 00:44:33,844
"What are you doing
giving him meat?"

631
00:44:34,179 --> 00:44:35,303
"He's a vegetarian."

632
00:44:35,386 --> 00:44:37,802
I said, "Nobody sent me
the freakin' memo."

633
00:44:37,927 --> 00:44:40,428
There was another time

634
00:44:40,510 --> 00:44:42,719
she's working with Derrick
on the computer.

635
00:44:42,927 --> 00:44:44,802
I said something to the effect
of "Derrick...", just jokingly,

636
00:44:44,886 --> 00:44:46,927
"...I can't wait to get home
so we can just get a beer,

637
00:44:47,011 --> 00:44:51,052
and kick back, and just relax."
And then on the keyboard,

638
00:44:51,136 --> 00:44:52,428
he said something
to the effect of,

639
00:44:52,510 --> 00:44:55,428
"Well, I don't like beer.
I like red wine."

640
00:44:55,802 --> 00:44:58,094
I just thought that
to be hella peculiar.

641
00:44:58,261 --> 00:44:59,177
Derrick does not--

642
00:44:59,261 --> 00:45:00,844
He doesn't even like
Communion wine.

643
00:45:06,552 --> 00:45:08,844
If you're in a giving
care frame of mind,

644
00:45:08,927 --> 00:45:11,052
you don't see the person
you're supporting

645
00:45:11,136 --> 00:45:16,011
as somebody who's in a position
to make their own decisions,

646
00:45:16,177 --> 00:45:19,011
who has their own ideas
about how they want things done.

647
00:45:19,094 --> 00:45:21,011
Okay. Okay.

648
00:45:23,886 --> 00:45:25,760
You wanna
give them some control

649
00:45:26,179 --> 00:45:27,386
to develop into a person

650
00:45:27,468 --> 00:45:29,677
who has a good sense
of themselves.

651
00:45:30,011 --> 00:45:30,844
Come on.

652
00:45:31,052 --> 00:45:32,552
So that part is...

653
00:45:34,052 --> 00:45:37,179
a harder adjustment
for parents or teachers

654
00:45:37,219 --> 00:45:39,510
who've been in a,
"I'm taking care of you" mode.

655
00:45:39,677 --> 00:45:45,179
Turn your feet. Turn your body.
Now step off. Thank you.

656
00:46:02,344 --> 00:46:03,427
And...

657
00:46:19,927 --> 00:46:22,677
My mom kept telling me,
you know, Anna was saying that,

658
00:46:22,760 --> 00:46:25,177
you know, she's too mothering,
she's smothering Derrick.

659
00:46:25,261 --> 00:46:29,927
Derrick doesn't want all of this
help from her that, you know,

660
00:46:30,094 --> 00:46:31,386
"You can't be Mom
all the time."

661
00:46:31,468 --> 00:46:32,386
And all these different things

662
00:46:32,510 --> 00:46:34,427
that it seemed to be breaking
my mom down.

663
00:46:34,927 --> 00:46:38,468
And then to add to that,
this idea that,

664
00:46:38,552 --> 00:46:40,303
"Oh, Derrick now wants
to live independently."

665
00:46:41,760 --> 00:46:43,594
DMan had wanted to look

666
00:46:43,677 --> 00:46:46,052
into a more independent
living arrangement.

667
00:46:46,177 --> 00:46:47,303
Moving out of his mother's house

668
00:46:47,386 --> 00:46:50,635
and moving into supported
living situation.

669
00:47:06,303 --> 00:47:08,594
There was an organization
that was able to provide

670
00:47:08,677 --> 00:47:10,261
supervised housing for Derrick.

671
00:47:10,635 --> 00:47:13,386
Derrick would have individuals
looking out for him

672
00:47:13,468 --> 00:47:14,427
twenty-four hours a day.

673
00:47:14,510 --> 00:47:16,969
He would take classes.
He would get his degree.

674
00:47:17,719 --> 00:47:19,886
As my mom was telling me this,
I thought,

675
00:47:20,011 --> 00:47:21,303
"Where's this money
gonna come from for this?"

676
00:47:21,386 --> 00:47:25,011
"'Cause it's not gonna be free."
And I just kind of saw that as,

677
00:47:26,094 --> 00:47:28,635
all right, you're getting
a little too personal here.

678
00:47:28,719 --> 00:47:31,510
Now, you're looking
into Derrick's support

679
00:47:31,594 --> 00:47:34,261
and I just
wasn't comfortable with that.

680
00:47:34,886 --> 00:47:38,052
I said, "Anna,
if he's gonna move into a place,

681
00:47:38,136 --> 00:47:39,303
he's gonna move in the basement,

682
00:47:39,386 --> 00:47:41,844
where John lived
before John got on his own."

683
00:47:42,136 --> 00:47:43,677
"Derrick is not going anywhere."

684
00:47:45,344 --> 00:47:47,344
"You need to cut
the apron strings."

685
00:47:47,677 --> 00:47:50,510
I said, "How am I gonna
cut my apron strings

686
00:47:50,594 --> 00:47:53,969
when Derrick cannot walk, talk,
or do anything on his own?"

687
00:47:54,844 --> 00:47:57,927
"See, that's where you're wrong.
Derrick can do it."

688
00:47:59,594 --> 00:48:02,802
"You're opening up
a whole new world for him."

689
00:48:07,635 --> 00:48:09,844
The ways in which
she talked to my mom,

690
00:48:10,261 --> 00:48:12,510
you know, not mothering
the proper way.

691
00:48:12,594 --> 00:48:13,927
And saying that Derrick
doesn't like this

692
00:48:14,011 --> 00:48:16,927
and wants this, or "Daisy,
you need to let him be a man."

693
00:48:17,136 --> 00:48:20,219
It just kind of rubbed me
the wrong way.

694
00:48:20,677 --> 00:48:23,177
Part of it might just be a level
of self-consciousness on my part

695
00:48:23,468 --> 00:48:26,136
because I remember growing up
in late '80s, early '90s,

696
00:48:26,468 --> 00:48:28,177
and, you know,
when my mom and dad

697
00:48:28,760 --> 00:48:30,179
separated and then divorced,

698
00:48:30,261 --> 00:48:33,179
the idea of single parenthood
was resonant.

699
00:48:34,594 --> 00:48:36,969
There was all
these studies about, you know,

700
00:48:37,052 --> 00:48:38,344
children of single-parent
households

701
00:48:38,427 --> 00:48:40,011
just don't do well and,

702
00:48:40,635 --> 00:48:42,468
you know,
invariably was framed around,

703
00:48:42,552 --> 00:48:44,844
you know, "Black women
aren't good parents."

704
00:48:45,094 --> 00:48:46,427
You know,
"There's things that Black women

705
00:48:46,510 --> 00:48:48,011
can't teach their sons."

706
00:48:48,261 --> 00:48:50,510
And all of that
was kind of in my ears.

707
00:48:51,886 --> 00:48:54,802
Now, I think it's important
to recognize that my mom,

708
00:48:54,886 --> 00:48:56,386
prior to all of this,

709
00:48:56,468 --> 00:48:58,635
was affiliated
with a number of organizations

710
00:48:58,719 --> 00:49:02,677
that were headed by women
of color who are advocates

711
00:49:02,760 --> 00:49:05,052
for people of color
or with disabilities,

712
00:49:05,136 --> 00:49:07,052
who otherwise may
have been overlooked.

713
00:49:08,177 --> 00:49:10,094
For Anna to make
certain assumptions

714
00:49:10,179 --> 00:49:12,635
about my mom's expertise

715
00:49:12,719 --> 00:49:16,179
or her decision-making
and those kind of things,

716
00:49:16,219 --> 00:49:19,094
it just has those racial
undertones and overtones.

717
00:49:19,179 --> 00:49:20,802
It wasn't, like, you know,

718
00:49:20,886 --> 00:49:22,760
"Nigga, get in the back
of the bus," kind of racism.

719
00:49:22,844 --> 00:49:24,886
It wasn't that, but it was more
like making assumptions

720
00:49:24,969 --> 00:49:27,719
based on the idea that some
people might be inherently...

721
00:49:27,802 --> 00:49:29,179
...deficient.

722
00:49:30,594 --> 00:49:33,344
Anna was just ignoring
the past 30-some-odd years

723
00:49:33,510 --> 00:49:35,177
and everything that
my mom has done

724
00:49:35,261 --> 00:49:36,969
to get us to this point, right?

725
00:49:39,594 --> 00:49:41,969
And so, I had it in my mind,

726
00:49:42,594 --> 00:49:44,303
we're gonna have a long
conversation,

727
00:49:44,427 --> 00:49:46,927
we are gonna have to really
set some hard, fast rules,

728
00:49:47,011 --> 00:49:50,261
or we may have to just kind
of begin to draw things down.

729
00:49:55,344 --> 00:49:58,386
DMan and I had debated
on several occasions

730
00:49:58,468 --> 00:50:01,969
whether we wanted to say
anything to Daisy and John

731
00:50:02,052 --> 00:50:04,177
about the change
in our relationship.

732
00:50:05,136 --> 00:50:06,844
We knew we were gonna
tell them eventually.

733
00:50:06,927 --> 00:50:08,594
So, it was more just,

734
00:50:08,969 --> 00:50:12,594
we were enjoying
that kind of initial beginning

735
00:50:12,677 --> 00:50:14,927
of a romance
when it's very private,

736
00:50:15,011 --> 00:50:17,386
and it's very intimate,
and it's just the two of you,

737
00:50:17,468 --> 00:50:20,886
and it changes when you start
sharing with family.

738
00:50:22,011 --> 00:50:25,261
But we had started
figuring out ways that we could,

739
00:50:25,344 --> 00:50:27,635
you know,
try to spend time together.

740
00:50:28,594 --> 00:50:31,177
And it was a Sunday.

741
00:50:31,303 --> 00:50:33,344
DMan and I had made plans

742
00:50:33,427 --> 00:50:35,468
to go to the film festival
in New York

743
00:50:35,552 --> 00:50:37,719
where there was a film
being shown

744
00:50:37,802 --> 00:50:40,261
called Wretches andamp; Jabberers,
which was about FC users.

745
00:50:41,594 --> 00:50:44,594
Daisy wanted
to go to church that morning

746
00:50:45,219 --> 00:50:48,594
and in thinking
about locations and stuff

747
00:50:48,844 --> 00:50:51,386
for eventual
romantic rendezvous,

748
00:50:51,468 --> 00:50:53,510
we definitely
didn't want to use,

749
00:50:53,927 --> 00:50:56,261
you know, his mother's house.

750
00:50:56,552 --> 00:51:01,094
But, you know, here we are
at the house and she's not there

751
00:51:01,594 --> 00:51:05,344
and it's difficult
for him to kiss.

752
00:51:06,136 --> 00:51:10,802
So, we wanted to practice.
Like anything else,

753
00:51:10,886 --> 00:51:13,677
it was a physical challenge
for him.

754
00:51:16,760 --> 00:51:19,177
I could tell
that he is very tense

755
00:51:19,261 --> 00:51:21,844
and every time
he tried to sit back,

756
00:51:21,927 --> 00:51:25,677
he would kind of pop up again
and I said, like, "Talk to me."

757
00:51:25,969 --> 00:51:29,344
"Obviously this is not working
for you, what's going on?"

758
00:51:30,094 --> 00:51:33,802
And he typed, "I really,
really love being with you,

759
00:51:33,886 --> 00:51:35,303
and I wanna be doing this

760
00:51:35,386 --> 00:51:38,052
but I'm just really overwhelmed
right now. I need a minute."

761
00:51:39,635 --> 00:51:41,136
And I said, you know, "Fine."

762
00:51:41,177 --> 00:51:43,011
"Take all the time
you need. Of course."

763
00:51:45,927 --> 00:51:48,261
So he scooted himself
down the hallway

764
00:51:48,969 --> 00:51:52,052
and I got a glass of water,
I was just giving him some time.

765
00:51:53,177 --> 00:51:55,719
And I said to him,
"Look, you know, you're the one

766
00:51:55,802 --> 00:51:58,303
where this is all
a brand-new thing for you,

767
00:51:58,719 --> 00:51:59,969
you've gotta call the shots.

768
00:52:00,052 --> 00:52:01,802
You've gotta,
you know, I don't--

769
00:52:01,886 --> 00:52:04,427
I don't wanna do anything
that makes you uncomfortable,

770
00:52:04,510 --> 00:52:06,719
I don't wanna push
anything faster,

771
00:52:06,802 --> 00:52:09,760
I don't know what's gonna work
for your body and what isn't,

772
00:52:09,844 --> 00:52:11,011
so you tell me."

773
00:52:12,344 --> 00:52:14,886
I was figuring
at that point that,

774
00:52:14,969 --> 00:52:17,386
like, the moment had passed
and that was all right.

775
00:52:18,594 --> 00:52:22,510
And he typed,
"May I touch your breasts?"

776
00:52:23,927 --> 00:52:27,094
And I was like, "Wow. Okay.
I didn't know where that..."

777
00:52:27,179 --> 00:52:29,802
You know, "That wasn't
what I was expecting."

778
00:52:30,219 --> 00:52:34,594
"Okay."
And then he typed,

779
00:52:34,719 --> 00:52:36,303
"Take your shirt off
all the way."

780
00:52:37,594 --> 00:52:40,802
I was like, "Okay."
So, I did that and then he said,

781
00:52:40,886 --> 00:52:42,802
"Take the rest
of your clothes off."

782
00:52:42,886 --> 00:52:46,886
And, "Okay," so I did. And...

783
00:52:48,969 --> 00:52:51,510
then he said, you know,
"I've dreamed about this."

784
00:52:52,468 --> 00:52:54,719
It seemed to me
that what he was doing

785
00:52:54,886 --> 00:52:58,052
was taking control
of the situation.

786
00:52:58,179 --> 00:53:00,552
He was like really ordering
me around... ...and,

787
00:53:00,719 --> 00:53:02,136
you know,
but that was kind of cool

788
00:53:02,177 --> 00:53:04,635
because I wasn't
necessarily anticipating

789
00:53:04,719 --> 00:53:06,719
that element
of the relationship.

790
00:53:08,261 --> 00:53:09,179
He said,

791
00:53:10,344 --> 00:53:13,427
"I long to hold you
the way that men do."

792
00:53:15,179 --> 00:53:17,510
I said to him,
"Look, I feel held."

793
00:53:18,344 --> 00:53:20,969
He said,

794
00:53:21,844 --> 00:53:24,594
"Do you think that
it would even be possible

795
00:53:24,677 --> 00:53:29,094
with my cerebral palsy
for us to make love?"

796
00:53:29,719 --> 00:53:31,552
And I said, you know,

797
00:53:31,635 --> 00:53:33,719
"I have no idea,
but there's only,

798
00:53:33,802 --> 00:53:35,635
you know, there's only
one way to find out."

799
00:53:52,510 --> 00:53:54,510
We had this meeting
scheduled for Memorial Day,

800
00:53:54,635 --> 00:53:56,385
for DMan to talk
to Daisy and John

801
00:53:56,468 --> 00:53:58,510
about the independent
living counselor.

802
00:53:59,136 --> 00:54:01,510
And DMan brought up
or I brought up,

803
00:54:01,594 --> 00:54:02,510
I don't even remember,

804
00:54:02,677 --> 00:54:05,136
you know, should we also
use this opportunity

805
00:54:05,177 --> 00:54:08,344
to tell them about the change
in our relationship?

806
00:54:08,427 --> 00:54:10,136
But I said to him,

807
00:54:10,177 --> 00:54:13,510
"Look, if Daisy and John
did get upset about this

808
00:54:13,594 --> 00:54:15,344
and chose to separate us,

809
00:54:15,427 --> 00:54:17,886
technically, that's a violation
of your rights,

810
00:54:17,969 --> 00:54:21,677
but it would be very hard
to challenge them on that."

811
00:54:24,677 --> 00:54:26,719
He said to me...

812
00:54:26,927 --> 00:54:28,719
"...They would never
do that to me."

813
00:54:28,802 --> 00:54:30,261
"They love me too much."

814
00:54:33,760 --> 00:54:34,802
We all sit down

815
00:54:34,886 --> 00:54:38,802
and there just seem to be
this awkwardness about it,

816
00:54:38,886 --> 00:54:40,385
you know. If we're gonna
talk about business,

817
00:54:40,468 --> 00:54:42,969
let's talk business.
But she seemed--

818
00:54:43,052 --> 00:54:44,136
And she looked
to Derrick and said,

819
00:54:44,177 --> 00:54:49,261
"Do you want me to tell them?"
And so I'm like, "Tell us what?"

820
00:54:50,052 --> 00:54:52,011
And then,
she grabs Derrick's hand

821
00:54:52,094 --> 00:54:55,094
and on the keyboard comes up,
"We are in love."

822
00:54:58,177 --> 00:55:01,011
So he typed, you know,
"Anna and I are in love."

823
00:55:01,385 --> 00:55:03,427
"And we, you know, had a--"

824
00:55:03,510 --> 00:55:05,136
"We have
a physical relationship."

825
00:55:05,719 --> 00:55:07,886
And John said something about,
you know, that, like,

826
00:55:07,969 --> 00:55:11,219
"Do you use protection?"
And DMan said, "Yes."

827
00:55:12,261 --> 00:55:15,427
She said, "Yes.
We have made love."

828
00:55:19,303 --> 00:55:24,635
And I was like, "What?"
"Yes, we've made love."

829
00:55:25,177 --> 00:55:28,344
"He's a man
in every sense of the word."

830
00:55:30,427 --> 00:55:33,802
And what I did,
I sat on my hands...

831
00:55:36,719 --> 00:55:38,886
and I said, "You did what?"

832
00:55:45,344 --> 00:55:47,635
You know,
they asked me about

833
00:55:47,760 --> 00:55:49,510
where things were at
with my husband

834
00:55:49,594 --> 00:55:51,635
and, you know, I told them,

835
00:55:51,719 --> 00:55:55,510
I really did wanna be with DMan
permanently to marry him,

836
00:55:55,594 --> 00:55:58,052
that I hadn't talked
to my husband yet,

837
00:55:58,136 --> 00:56:00,886
but that I was going
to very soon.

838
00:56:00,969 --> 00:56:03,802
And there was a moment that
was part of the conversation

839
00:56:03,969 --> 00:56:05,969
where he asked me to kiss him.

840
00:56:06,468 --> 00:56:09,552
I found that a little awkward,
like, I didn't really want to.

841
00:56:09,719 --> 00:56:11,468
In that moment, it's just like,

842
00:56:12,179 --> 00:56:14,261
you know,
but he insisted, so I did.

843
00:56:15,844 --> 00:56:17,344
I tried to be civil.

844
00:56:18,219 --> 00:56:19,261
John had gone somewhere

845
00:56:19,344 --> 00:56:20,969
and I think
he went down to throw up.

846
00:56:21,136 --> 00:56:23,969
I was shocked.

847
00:56:24,385 --> 00:56:27,385
I didn't really know
what to make of it at the time,

848
00:56:27,927 --> 00:56:31,969
but I felt myself
getting so angry

849
00:56:33,011 --> 00:56:37,844
and rage-filled that I left.
I went downstairs,

850
00:56:37,927 --> 00:56:39,635
I paced the floor
a bunch of times.

851
00:56:39,719 --> 00:56:41,094
I looked at the cracks
in the wall.

852
00:56:41,179 --> 00:56:46,303
I remember I had to let
my anger subside.

853
00:56:48,219 --> 00:56:51,052
I said goodbye to DMan
and Daisy was there

854
00:56:51,136 --> 00:56:53,969
and she, you know,
came in and gave me a big hug

855
00:56:54,136 --> 00:56:55,802
and said, you know,
"We'll get through this."

856
00:56:55,886 --> 00:56:57,177
"We'll figure this out."

857
00:56:58,052 --> 00:57:00,510
I was heading out the door
and just saying goodbye to DMan

858
00:57:00,594 --> 00:57:02,177
and I said, you know,
I said to him, like,

859
00:57:02,261 --> 00:57:05,179
"Good call, love, hon."
You know,

860
00:57:05,219 --> 00:57:07,052
that it was a good choice
to tell them.

861
00:57:07,719 --> 00:57:10,844
And I left. And, you know,
I was feeling fine.

862
00:57:16,844 --> 00:57:18,760
John called me the next morning

863
00:57:18,927 --> 00:57:20,427
about ten o'clock
in the morning.

864
00:57:20,510 --> 00:57:24,886
And I think, I knew something
was gonna be wrong

865
00:57:24,969 --> 00:57:26,635
when I saw he was calling.

866
00:57:28,344 --> 00:57:32,802
He said, "Daisy and I
don't want you to see DMan

867
00:57:32,886 --> 00:57:34,635
until you and--

868
00:57:34,719 --> 00:57:37,052
She and I have a chance
to sit down and talk."

869
00:57:38,094 --> 00:57:41,344
We sort of scheduled the meeting
then she pulled out,

870
00:57:41,427 --> 00:57:45,261
then John or Daisy got back
to me and said, you know,

871
00:57:45,344 --> 00:57:46,635
"We just don't wanna meet."

872
00:57:47,011 --> 00:57:50,179
That was when--
Then I started calling Daisy.

873
00:57:57,385 --> 00:57:59,677
She would talk to me
on the phone.

874
00:57:59,760 --> 00:58:02,261
I would kind of address
her concerns

875
00:58:02,344 --> 00:58:03,635
and talk about things.

876
00:58:28,969 --> 00:58:30,886
And then she stopped
returning my calls.

877
00:58:52,011 --> 00:58:52,927
Right.

878
00:59:00,136 --> 00:59:01,635
One of the things that happened

879
00:59:01,719 --> 00:59:03,594
with the facilitated
communication

880
00:59:03,969 --> 00:59:06,802
was that part of the sessions
were for us,

881
00:59:07,052 --> 00:59:09,177
Mom and I,
to also practice with him.

882
00:59:09,802 --> 00:59:12,802
And so,
Anna would be there with him

883
00:59:13,052 --> 00:59:15,179
and, you know,
a sentence will come out.

884
00:59:15,844 --> 00:59:17,052
"All right, John, you try."

885
00:59:17,179 --> 00:59:19,594
And so, I would try to
and I would get nothing.

886
00:59:19,677 --> 00:59:21,719
You know, eventually,
he would apply pressure,

887
00:59:21,802 --> 00:59:23,844
I may get two words
but it wouldn't make sense.

888
00:59:23,927 --> 00:59:26,094
And then when my mom would try,
nothing would happen.

889
00:59:26,219 --> 00:59:29,344
See all these marks on my arm,
that was Derrick's facilitating.

890
00:59:30,719 --> 00:59:33,594
He would grab me
and pull my hand.

891
00:59:33,677 --> 00:59:35,594
You know, take my hand
away from his.

892
00:59:36,303 --> 00:59:39,719
The coaching from Anna was,
you have to keep trying,

893
00:59:39,802 --> 00:59:41,303
you have to keep practicing,

894
00:59:41,385 --> 00:59:45,052
you have to anticipate
what he's gonna say.

895
00:59:45,468 --> 00:59:47,760
And that was one of those,
like, "Hmm."

896
00:59:47,927 --> 00:59:49,344
That's when, I guess,

897
00:59:49,594 --> 00:59:51,635
my own doubts
started to creep in,

898
00:59:51,719 --> 00:59:54,719
and that's when I started
looking for the video

899
00:59:54,802 --> 00:59:57,094
that I initially saw
in the classroom,

900
00:59:57,177 --> 00:59:59,635
to see what in the world
am I doing wrong?

901
01:00:01,177 --> 01:00:05,927
And that's when I stumbled upon
the Frontline documentary on FC.

902
01:00:11,011 --> 01:00:12,303
Some people
had their doubts

903
01:00:12,385 --> 01:00:14,303
about facilitated communication.

904
01:00:15,011 --> 01:00:17,136
Dr. Howard Shane
has devoted his life

905
01:00:17,177 --> 01:00:20,385
to helping disabled nonverbal
people to communicate.

906
01:00:20,510 --> 01:00:21,677
You must be Doctor Shane.

907
01:00:21,760 --> 01:00:23,136
How are you?
- Nice to meet you.

908
01:00:24,011 --> 01:00:27,468
In 1990, I got a call
from a prosecutor

909
01:00:27,552 --> 01:00:28,844
in Western Massachusetts

910
01:00:28,927 --> 01:00:31,343
because someone
was being facilitated

911
01:00:31,468 --> 01:00:35,094
and while being facilitated,
he mentioned that

912
01:00:35,179 --> 01:00:38,927
his aid in his group residence
was sexually abusing him.

913
01:00:41,343 --> 01:00:43,011
And the prosecutor
wanted to be sure

914
01:00:43,094 --> 01:00:43,969
that this individual

915
01:00:44,052 --> 01:00:46,427
was actually independently
communicating.

916
01:00:49,969 --> 01:00:51,844
When you have somebody
hold your hand,

917
01:00:52,261 --> 01:00:55,510
it obviously brings up
the question every time,

918
01:00:55,635 --> 01:00:57,094
"Well,
are they being influenced?"

919
01:00:58,468 --> 01:01:01,094
How can you be sure that
these individuals are actually,

920
01:01:01,219 --> 01:01:02,760
you know,
independently communicating

921
01:01:02,844 --> 01:01:05,427
or they aren't being facilitated
and really being influenced?

922
01:01:11,219 --> 01:01:14,136
I went on to design a protocol

923
01:01:14,468 --> 01:01:17,635
that would enable me
to determine

924
01:01:17,719 --> 01:01:18,886
who was authoring the message.

925
01:01:19,635 --> 01:01:21,219
Okay, folks.
What I'm gonna be doing now...

926
01:01:21,303 --> 01:01:24,179
Shane had devised
a double-blind test like this.

927
01:01:24,219 --> 01:01:26,385
He showed both
a series of pictures

928
01:01:26,510 --> 01:01:28,635
and asked them
to type what they saw.

929
01:01:30,385 --> 01:01:31,760
Betsy,
make sure you're looking at it.

930
01:01:31,844 --> 01:01:33,844
When both Betsy
and her facilitator

931
01:01:33,927 --> 01:01:35,427
saw a picture of a key,

932
01:01:36,468 --> 01:01:40,552
the letters K-E-Y were typed.

933
01:01:41,760 --> 01:01:43,635
But Shane wanted
to discover what happened

934
01:01:43,719 --> 01:01:45,552
if each saw a different picture.

935
01:01:45,635 --> 01:01:46,468
Okay.

936
01:01:46,552 --> 01:01:49,219
When Betsy saw a cup,
she didn't type cup.

937
01:01:49,468 --> 01:01:52,927
She typed hat.
What the facilitator saw.

938
01:01:53,886 --> 01:01:56,343
Now, take a look at this one.
Okay.

939
01:01:58,094 --> 01:02:00,385
When Betsy was shown
a picture of a dog,

940
01:02:00,468 --> 01:02:03,303
she didn't type dog,
but sneakers.

941
01:02:04,011 --> 01:02:05,552
What the facilitator saw.

942
01:02:07,303 --> 01:02:08,719
Okay,
here is the next one.

943
01:02:08,802 --> 01:02:11,261
Later work that I did
and others have done,

944
01:02:11,635 --> 01:02:15,385
seems to indicate that
facilitators were doing this,

945
01:02:15,468 --> 01:02:17,303
thinking that
they were giving people

946
01:02:17,385 --> 01:02:18,802
the ability to be able
to communicate.

947
01:02:20,385 --> 01:02:22,760
I don't think
that they are intentionally

948
01:02:23,052 --> 01:02:25,177
trying to create
a false message.

949
01:02:25,385 --> 01:02:26,927
They believe that this is coming

950
01:02:27,011 --> 01:02:29,510
from the person
who is being facilitated.

951
01:02:30,802 --> 01:02:32,594
The scientific
evidence suggested that

952
01:02:32,677 --> 01:02:35,385
far from unlocking the minds
of autistic individuals,

953
01:02:36,052 --> 01:02:39,594
FC tapped the unconscious
thoughts of the facilitator.

954
01:02:43,179 --> 01:02:45,219
I just remember
thinking at the time,

955
01:02:45,385 --> 01:02:48,635
you know, Derrick was writing
those papers,

956
01:02:49,760 --> 01:02:51,677
what I find interesting
in hindsight,

957
01:02:51,760 --> 01:02:54,969
is that a lot of it revolved
around this idea of,

958
01:02:55,385 --> 01:02:56,844
you know, now I have a voice.

959
01:02:56,927 --> 01:03:01,969
Now, I can speak and talk
and-- Whereas I was trapped,

960
01:03:02,219 --> 01:03:04,177
now, I have this freedom.

961
01:03:04,677 --> 01:03:07,886
And a lot of it
revolved around things

962
01:03:07,969 --> 01:03:11,179
that just,
in my estimation, were not...

963
01:03:13,052 --> 01:03:14,179
about Derrick.

964
01:03:14,635 --> 01:03:18,219
And so, to me, it was just like,
this whole FC thing is bogus.

965
01:03:21,635 --> 01:03:25,343
I never got any vibe
off of John or Daisy

966
01:03:25,594 --> 01:03:27,719
that they didn't
100 percent believe

967
01:03:27,802 --> 01:03:30,677
that what DMan said
was DMan's words.

968
01:03:32,011 --> 01:03:34,719
I had been careful
in the beginning

969
01:03:34,802 --> 01:03:37,552
to make sure
that I wasn't influencing him,

970
01:03:38,011 --> 01:03:41,677
but there were so many...
so many situations

971
01:03:41,760 --> 01:03:44,219
that he was telling me
information I didn't know.

972
01:03:44,303 --> 01:03:46,635
And in the beginning,
I was checking it to make sure

973
01:03:46,719 --> 01:03:48,011
that I wasn't influencing,

974
01:03:48,094 --> 01:03:51,385
and the fact that we had
arguments and disagreements

975
01:03:51,468 --> 01:03:52,886
and so on and so forth.

976
01:03:52,969 --> 01:03:55,136
I mean, he very clearly
had his own mind.

977
01:03:57,385 --> 01:03:58,719
He more than proved himself.

978
01:03:59,677 --> 01:04:03,136
The homework assignments that
DMan had typed with Sheronda

979
01:04:03,177 --> 01:04:04,468
and she hadn't read the books.

980
01:04:04,552 --> 01:04:06,011
I mean, had John come
and talked to me

981
01:04:06,094 --> 01:04:08,677
I had all of this proof

982
01:04:08,969 --> 01:04:11,179
that I could have shared
with him to reassure him.

983
01:04:51,552 --> 01:04:52,427
Yeah.

984
01:04:58,760 --> 01:04:59,802
Yeah.

985
01:05:06,303 --> 01:05:08,261
Mm-hmm. Right.

986
01:05:11,219 --> 01:05:12,552
All right, so, it's...

987
01:05:19,179 --> 01:05:20,219
Okay.

988
01:05:23,303 --> 01:05:24,594
At the time,
we weren't trying

989
01:05:24,677 --> 01:05:27,052
to pursue any kind
of legal thing,

990
01:05:27,219 --> 01:05:29,677
we just wanted her
to leave us alone.

991
01:05:30,343 --> 01:05:31,552
But then one day,

992
01:05:31,635 --> 01:05:35,510
the director of Derrick's Day
Program got an email from Anna

993
01:05:35,594 --> 01:05:37,427
and the gist of it was,

994
01:05:37,719 --> 01:05:40,886
"Daisy and John have not allowed
me to see Derrick,

995
01:05:40,969 --> 01:05:42,510
but Daisy and John don't know

996
01:05:42,594 --> 01:05:43,635
what's in Derrick's
best interest,

997
01:05:43,719 --> 01:05:45,179
but we as people who work

998
01:05:45,219 --> 01:05:46,760
with people
with disabilities do."

999
01:05:56,468 --> 01:05:57,552
And at that point,
I just thought,

1000
01:05:57,635 --> 01:05:59,219
You know, if she's gonna
go to these lengths

1001
01:05:59,303 --> 01:06:02,303
to try to get to Derrick
behind our back,

1002
01:06:02,844 --> 01:06:04,594
there's no telling
what she may do,

1003
01:06:05,011 --> 01:06:07,594
and I need to take steps
necessary to put an end to this.

1004
01:06:08,677 --> 01:06:11,969
And so, I made an appointment
to meet with the dean.

1005
01:06:12,635 --> 01:06:14,343
I remember going
into her office,

1006
01:06:14,927 --> 01:06:18,427
and I started to tell her
what was going on.

1007
01:06:18,510 --> 01:06:21,802
She kind of froze and was,
like, took a deep breath,

1008
01:06:21,886 --> 01:06:23,844
and was somewhat in disbelief.

1009
01:06:26,802 --> 01:06:29,844
I don't think I had taken
opportunity to kind of...

1010
01:06:30,802 --> 01:06:33,594
let myself release this emotion.

1011
01:06:33,719 --> 01:06:36,385
I just sat in that office...
...and I don't think

1012
01:06:36,468 --> 01:06:38,011
I've ever cried in front
of a White woman before,

1013
01:06:38,094 --> 01:06:40,219
but I just broke down...

1014
01:06:40,303 --> 01:06:44,177
...and she basically said to me
in so many words,

1015
01:06:44,677 --> 01:06:46,219
"John, make sure
you get a lawyer."

1016
01:07:09,011 --> 01:07:13,635
I got a phone call one day
from Daisy. And she said...

1017
01:07:26,052 --> 01:07:27,802
She said, "He's been biting
his hand a lot more,

1018
01:07:27,886 --> 01:07:29,303
he's really unhappy."

1019
01:07:29,385 --> 01:07:32,385
So she said, "I'm just
trying to understand

1020
01:07:32,468 --> 01:07:34,594
what happened
between the two of you."

1021
01:07:54,302 --> 01:07:57,385
To me, it sounded like,
"Oh, maybe this is an opening,

1022
01:07:57,468 --> 01:07:59,343
you know, maybe
they're seeing he's unhappy

1023
01:07:59,427 --> 01:08:00,677
and they're reconsidering,"

1024
01:08:00,760 --> 01:08:04,719
and so I was happy
to answer her questions.

1025
01:08:33,343 --> 01:08:34,635
You know, again,
that feels kind of weird

1026
01:08:34,719 --> 01:08:38,011
to talk about
with your lover's mother

1027
01:08:38,094 --> 01:08:39,844
but, you know, whatever,

1028
01:08:39,927 --> 01:08:41,468
if it kept
the conversation going

1029
01:08:41,552 --> 01:08:42,594
and if she was listening...

1030
01:09:03,635 --> 01:09:05,552
I found out later
that that was...

1031
01:09:05,802 --> 01:09:07,844
That phone call
had been setup by the police,

1032
01:09:08,011 --> 01:09:09,886
and they had coached her
on what to say,

1033
01:09:09,969 --> 01:09:11,760
and it was being recorded.

1034
01:09:12,886 --> 01:09:16,261
The date
is August 22nd, 2011.

1035
01:09:16,343 --> 01:09:21,179
This is regarding Special
Victims Unit Case No. S 11-0141.

1036
01:09:21,219 --> 01:09:22,802
The target of the investigation
is a one

1037
01:09:22,886 --> 01:09:24,427
Marjorie Anna Stubblefield.

1038
01:09:24,510 --> 01:09:27,468
The consenting party
is a one Daisy P. Johnson.

1039
01:09:28,343 --> 01:09:30,011
The crimes investigated

1040
01:09:30,094 --> 01:09:32,802
are crimes
of the sexual assault nature.

1041
01:09:39,969 --> 01:09:42,510
It was a Monday

1042
01:09:42,594 --> 01:09:46,302
and I was teaching class
in the afternoon.

1043
01:09:46,385 --> 01:09:48,468
So I pulled
into the parking lot,

1044
01:09:48,844 --> 01:09:53,844
and I was approached
by two people in plain clothes.

1045
01:09:53,927 --> 01:09:55,802
And they said,
"We're with the Essex County

1046
01:09:55,886 --> 01:09:57,136
Prosecutors Office

1047
01:09:57,177 --> 01:09:59,136
and we need to ask you
some questions."

1048
01:09:59,635 --> 01:10:00,844
And the only thing
I could think of

1049
01:10:00,927 --> 01:10:02,427
was something about a student.

1050
01:10:05,719 --> 01:10:08,177
You know, I'm wondering
what's going on.

1051
01:10:08,261 --> 01:10:12,760
And then they said, "Do you know
somebody named Derrick Johnson?"

1052
01:10:15,343 --> 01:10:18,719
I was like... "Okay."

1053
01:10:18,802 --> 01:10:22,179
You know, and that was starting
to penetrate that--

1054
01:10:23,052 --> 01:10:24,635
"Wow, okay, this is..."

1055
01:10:29,927 --> 01:10:32,052
So then I had to make
a decision on the spot

1056
01:10:32,136 --> 01:10:34,052
about how much do I say?

1057
01:10:34,385 --> 01:10:37,179
But I figured, you know what,
I didn't do anything wrong.

1058
01:10:38,177 --> 01:10:39,844
I talked to them
for about two hours

1059
01:10:39,927 --> 01:10:41,719
and I told them the whole story,

1060
01:10:42,468 --> 01:10:44,177
that we were in love
and all of that stuff.

1061
01:10:44,261 --> 01:10:46,094
I just didn't actually
say the words

1062
01:10:46,385 --> 01:10:48,343
that we consummated
the relationship.

1063
01:10:50,179 --> 01:10:54,219
They drove me back
to the parking lot at Rutgers.

1064
01:10:54,302 --> 01:10:57,510
And there was a person
I didn't know

1065
01:10:57,594 --> 01:10:58,594
who identified himself

1066
01:10:58,677 --> 01:11:01,760
as a representative
of the Dean's Office.

1067
01:11:02,552 --> 01:11:05,802
He handed me a letter
and the letter informed me

1068
01:11:05,886 --> 01:11:07,177
that as of this moment,

1069
01:11:07,261 --> 01:11:10,343
I was suspended from my teaching
duties at Rutgers.

1070
01:11:10,427 --> 01:11:12,510
I was not allowed on campus.

1071
01:11:29,302 --> 01:11:31,011
And while I was there,

1072
01:11:31,219 --> 01:11:33,844
they had gone to my house
with a search warrant.

1073
01:11:38,635 --> 01:11:41,552
My now-ex-husband was there,

1074
01:11:41,677 --> 01:11:45,635
so he's found out
that I'm under investigation.

1075
01:12:00,219 --> 01:12:01,844
This is Detective
Christine Wachowski

1076
01:12:01,927 --> 01:12:03,969
of the Essex County
Prosecutors Office.

1077
01:12:04,094 --> 01:12:07,136
I'm interviewing
Ms. Sheronda Jones.

1078
01:12:07,177 --> 01:12:08,760
Ms. Jones,
did there ever come a time

1079
01:12:08,844 --> 01:12:11,677
that you got involved
with Anna Stubblefield?

1080
01:12:11,760 --> 01:12:13,802
Yes.
My professor suggested her

1081
01:12:13,886 --> 01:12:14,927
because I work with children

1082
01:12:15,011 --> 01:12:17,052
with mental
and behavioral disorders.

1083
01:12:17,343 --> 01:12:19,760
So, she figured that it would
probably be a good connection

1084
01:12:19,844 --> 01:12:23,094
because she talked about working
with facilitated communication.

1085
01:12:23,261 --> 01:12:24,635
Can you tell me
a little bit about

1086
01:12:24,760 --> 01:12:25,844
about the facilitated
communication?

1087
01:12:25,927 --> 01:12:27,094
What kind of process is that?

1088
01:12:27,219 --> 01:12:31,468
Um, it's pretty much
me being an arm for DMan.

1089
01:12:31,552 --> 01:12:33,427
I would hold his arm up...

1090
01:12:33,510 --> 01:12:36,052
...while he would type out
whatever thoughts that he had

1091
01:12:36,136 --> 01:12:40,552
on a communication board.
He pretty much read the books.

1092
01:12:40,677 --> 01:12:42,719
I didn't know any information
about the book.

1093
01:12:42,802 --> 01:12:44,136
I can't tell you what he read.

1094
01:12:44,177 --> 01:12:45,969
And he typed out
the information.

1095
01:12:46,594 --> 01:12:48,594
One of my roommates
was in the class with him

1096
01:12:48,677 --> 01:12:51,177
and they pretty much wrote
some of the same things.

1097
01:12:53,219 --> 01:12:54,594
Today,
we're conducting an interview

1098
01:12:54,677 --> 01:12:56,261
with Ms. Karen Moore.

1099
01:12:56,844 --> 01:12:58,468
What do you do
at the university?

1100
01:12:58,552 --> 01:13:00,094
I teach
African American literature.

1101
01:13:00,179 --> 01:13:01,969
And how do you know
Ms. Stubblefield?

1102
01:13:02,719 --> 01:13:04,094
Well, she wrote to me.

1103
01:13:04,343 --> 01:13:06,719
He was not in my class
last semester

1104
01:13:06,969 --> 01:13:09,468
so it must have been 2010.

1105
01:13:09,677 --> 01:13:12,011
And when you say
"He", that's Derrick Johnson?"

1106
01:13:12,094 --> 01:13:13,927
I only knew him as DMan.
I didn't know

1107
01:13:14,011 --> 01:13:15,136
that was his name.
- Okay.

1108
01:13:15,177 --> 01:13:17,261
And Anna would assist with?

1109
01:13:18,343 --> 01:13:20,594
Well, you know
what that situation is.

1110
01:13:20,677 --> 01:13:22,343
They say that, you know,

1111
01:13:22,427 --> 01:13:25,510
the students are saying
what they want to say

1112
01:13:25,594 --> 01:13:27,969
while she's guiding
the hand, so.

1113
01:13:28,219 --> 01:13:31,219
Did he participate in the class?

1114
01:13:31,468 --> 01:13:37,136
He did. She-- He--
She-- He-- I guess would--

1115
01:13:37,760 --> 01:13:39,179
I don't know
that I really believe

1116
01:13:39,219 --> 01:13:41,302
that that actually
happens but...

1117
01:13:41,427 --> 01:13:42,261
So--

1118
01:13:42,343 --> 01:13:43,844
So, he would...
he would-- She would,

1119
01:13:43,927 --> 01:13:48,136
you know, write whatever
it was that he wanted to say.

1120
01:13:48,385 --> 01:13:50,052
She'd raise her hand
and she'd read it.

1121
01:13:50,136 --> 01:13:52,094
He would never
have verbalized anything or--

1122
01:13:52,179 --> 01:13:53,552
As far as I know,
he can't talk.

1123
01:13:53,677 --> 01:13:54,760
Okay.
- Yeah.

1124
01:14:12,844 --> 01:14:15,177
I got a call
from my assistant saying that

1125
01:14:15,261 --> 01:14:18,427
the Special Victims Unit
in New Jersey was calling.

1126
01:14:20,552 --> 01:14:21,969
Asked me if I would be willing

1127
01:14:22,052 --> 01:14:24,179
to provide some assistance
as an expert.

1128
01:14:30,802 --> 01:14:34,343
As it was described to me,
I'd never encountered any case

1129
01:14:34,427 --> 01:14:37,343
that mirrored
these particular circumstances.

1130
01:14:37,510 --> 01:14:38,844
I had never seen
anything like it.

1131
01:14:45,094 --> 01:14:47,261
In this case,
the question to me was,

1132
01:14:47,343 --> 01:14:48,719
"Could you evaluate Derrick

1133
01:14:48,802 --> 01:14:51,427
to understand his best level
of communication?"

1134
01:14:54,052 --> 01:14:55,177
From everything that I read,

1135
01:14:55,261 --> 01:14:58,677
there was a consistency
to the extent of his disability,

1136
01:14:58,969 --> 01:15:00,886
but I went in with an open mind.

1137
01:15:01,802 --> 01:15:05,011
I met him when he was brought
to the prosecutor's office.

1138
01:15:05,219 --> 01:15:07,969
He was accompanied
by his brother and his mother.

1139
01:15:09,177 --> 01:15:11,552
I already knew
that he had no speech.

1140
01:15:12,594 --> 01:15:18,510
So, I proceeded to introduce
different types of materials

1141
01:15:18,635 --> 01:15:20,136
for him to indicate,

1142
01:15:20,177 --> 01:15:22,969
pictures, photographs
which are very realistic.

1143
01:15:23,844 --> 01:15:25,302
It was difficult for him,

1144
01:15:25,385 --> 01:15:28,052
you know, I really didn't get
very much from that.

1145
01:15:28,343 --> 01:15:30,510
And he was able
to pick up some objects,

1146
01:15:30,594 --> 01:15:31,510
but not when I said,

1147
01:15:31,594 --> 01:15:33,594
you know, "pick up the spoon
or pick up the cup."

1148
01:15:35,179 --> 01:15:37,802
I did an interview of his mother

1149
01:15:38,011 --> 01:15:40,343
based on everything
that she had observed

1150
01:15:40,427 --> 01:15:42,385
and she certainly
was a very good observer.

1151
01:15:42,468 --> 01:15:43,802
I found that he was, you know,

1152
01:15:43,886 --> 01:15:46,179
functioning
at a pretty low level.

1153
01:15:46,969 --> 01:15:49,635
His way of telling you
that he wanted something to eat

1154
01:15:49,719 --> 01:15:51,468
was he would scoot over
to the refrigerator

1155
01:15:51,552 --> 01:15:54,802
and tap on the refrigerator,
that's very functional.

1156
01:15:55,136 --> 01:15:56,427
But to move from that

1157
01:15:56,510 --> 01:15:58,635
to pointing to a picture
of the refrigerator,

1158
01:15:58,802 --> 01:16:00,760
that's a greater level
of abstraction.

1159
01:16:01,219 --> 01:16:04,260
And in all the years he had been
in these different programs,

1160
01:16:04,343 --> 01:16:06,343
he had never moved
from the physical

1161
01:16:06,468 --> 01:16:08,468
to that type of communication.

1162
01:16:13,635 --> 01:16:15,594
I spent two
or three hours with him.

1163
01:16:17,094 --> 01:16:20,260
He spent a lot of time
just moving around the room.

1164
01:16:20,343 --> 01:16:23,219
He liked coat hangers.
So if he saw a coat hanger,

1165
01:16:23,302 --> 01:16:25,552
he would go over,
and he recognized that.

1166
01:16:25,635 --> 01:16:27,302
He liked to slap them
on the floor.

1167
01:16:33,427 --> 01:16:35,594
So I just basically reported
what I found.

1168
01:16:52,635 --> 01:16:56,802
I made a determination
that what I was observing

1169
01:16:57,052 --> 01:17:00,719
was consistent with what
the medical record had indicated

1170
01:17:00,927 --> 01:17:03,844
for, you know,
over 20 years of his life.

1171
01:17:04,844 --> 01:17:07,136
There was no one in the 20 years

1172
01:17:07,177 --> 01:17:10,927
who saw some sparkling of,
you know, something different.

1173
01:18:51,635 --> 01:18:54,177
I was actually
looking forward to the trial

1174
01:18:54,260 --> 01:18:56,677
as finally
this nightmare is gonna be over.

1175
01:18:56,760 --> 01:19:00,552
I knew she was not guilty
of anything.

1176
01:19:06,427 --> 01:19:08,760
I'm not guilty

1177
01:19:08,844 --> 01:19:11,844
of what they were
accusing me of.

1178
01:19:12,677 --> 01:19:18,011
If the accusation is
I have some weird perversion

1179
01:19:18,094 --> 01:19:20,343
that makes me want
to molest helpless,

1180
01:19:20,427 --> 01:19:24,927
intellectually impaired people,
that's simply not the case.

1181
01:19:28,094 --> 01:19:31,510
This whole thing
is framed in terms of consent

1182
01:19:31,594 --> 01:19:33,179
and his ability to consent

1183
01:19:33,260 --> 01:19:35,719
because I'm the one
who's accused of assault.

1184
01:19:36,177 --> 01:19:39,427
It's all... As if it was all
coming from me,

1185
01:19:39,510 --> 01:19:43,760
which is really not fair to him
because he seduced me,

1186
01:19:43,844 --> 01:19:45,969
and he deserves
some credit for that.

1187
01:19:46,677 --> 01:19:49,719
Here's this guy
who is so physically impaired

1188
01:19:49,802 --> 01:19:53,094
and he...

1189
01:19:53,179 --> 01:19:56,260
...got me to fall in love with
him and with his words.

1190
01:20:10,052 --> 01:20:11,635
The judge kept
taking things away

1191
01:20:11,719 --> 01:20:14,136
and taking things away
in terms of evidence.

1192
01:20:14,802 --> 01:20:17,760
I knew that DMan was the author
of what he typed.

1193
01:20:17,844 --> 01:20:21,552
I wasn't influencing him,
but at the end of the day,

1194
01:20:21,677 --> 01:20:24,094
I didn't have anything
except my word for that.

1195
01:20:30,052 --> 01:20:32,594
There was a morning
the prosecutor said

1196
01:20:32,677 --> 01:20:35,052
we're gonna bring DMan
into the courtroom.

1197
01:20:36,510 --> 01:20:39,427
It was Daisy
who walked him in.

1198
01:20:41,136 --> 01:20:45,969
I had to say who he was
and, you know, I was his mother.

1199
01:20:46,094 --> 01:20:50,052
And the fact that he could not
walk by himself independently,

1200
01:20:50,343 --> 01:20:53,677
I just walked him
in front of the judge

1201
01:20:53,760 --> 01:20:55,719
and then around
by the jury stand.

1202
01:20:57,052 --> 01:20:58,844
It was horrifying to me

1203
01:20:59,844 --> 01:21:03,886
that a human being had been
basically made an exhibit.

1204
01:21:05,385 --> 01:21:06,886
I know with DMan

1205
01:21:06,969 --> 01:21:08,969
there are ways
of walking with him

1206
01:21:09,343 --> 01:21:12,094
in which he looks
less handicapped.

1207
01:21:12,302 --> 01:21:14,177
And his mother walked DMan

1208
01:21:14,343 --> 01:21:17,594
in a way that made him look
as handicapped

1209
01:21:18,052 --> 01:21:21,927
and incapable
as one could possibly manage.

1210
01:21:22,219 --> 01:21:24,302
She turned around again
and she turned--

1211
01:21:24,385 --> 01:21:27,719
Always putting her body
in between him and me.

1212
01:21:27,802 --> 01:21:30,302
And walked him out.

1213
01:22:36,052 --> 01:22:37,343
What we didn't have on the jury

1214
01:22:37,427 --> 01:22:40,886
was anyone with significant
physical disabilities,

1215
01:22:41,052 --> 01:22:42,468
or, you know, that understanding

1216
01:22:42,552 --> 01:22:45,385
of a disability rights
perspective on the whole case.

1217
01:22:47,468 --> 01:22:48,594
At the end of the day,

1218
01:22:48,677 --> 01:22:52,886
it was just be myself
and tell my story,

1219
01:22:52,969 --> 01:22:57,260
and hopefully the jury
would see that guy over there

1220
01:22:57,427 --> 01:22:59,510
is this wonderful,
intelligent man

1221
01:22:59,594 --> 01:23:01,260
who I was in love with.

1222
01:23:17,218 --> 01:23:19,136
I wouldn't have fallen
in love with him

1223
01:23:19,177 --> 01:23:21,969
if he was somebody
that wasn't capable of consent.

1224
01:23:23,094 --> 01:23:24,760
I wouldn't have fallen
in love with him

1225
01:23:24,844 --> 01:23:26,886
if he wasn't interested
in reading books

1226
01:23:26,969 --> 01:23:28,677
and talking about ideas.

1227
01:23:29,218 --> 01:23:32,136
If somebody has an interesting
engaging mind,

1228
01:23:32,218 --> 01:23:34,468
and a good heart,
and a beautiful soul,

1229
01:23:34,635 --> 01:23:36,927
it shows through,
and you love the person,

1230
01:23:37,011 --> 01:23:38,927
and so you love
being close to them,

1231
01:23:39,011 --> 01:23:40,343
and you love the body
that they're in

1232
01:23:40,427 --> 01:23:42,594
because that's the body
that they have.

1233
01:23:59,468 --> 01:24:00,635
Was there any moment,

1234
01:24:00,844 --> 01:24:03,260
either during your time
with Derrick,

1235
01:24:03,635 --> 01:24:06,844
or during the trial, or now,
where you had doubts

1236
01:24:06,927 --> 01:24:08,635
about what might have occurred
between you two?

1237
01:24:08,969 --> 01:24:09,802
Never.

1238
01:24:23,552 --> 01:24:24,844
Her attorney came

1239
01:24:24,927 --> 01:24:27,927
and he was making me
to be the villain,

1240
01:24:28,969 --> 01:24:31,385
and he said,
"Well, how do you feel

1241
01:24:31,927 --> 01:24:34,719
about her being his lover?"

1242
01:24:34,844 --> 01:24:38,427
I said, "No."
I said, "She's not his lover."

1243
01:24:41,427 --> 01:24:44,677
This whore done
laid down, raped my son,

1244
01:24:44,802 --> 01:24:48,552
and I had to compose
myself because...

1245
01:24:52,179 --> 01:24:53,802
that's my son.

1246
01:24:58,302 --> 01:25:02,177
Days and nights, I walked
through hospital corridors

1247
01:25:02,844 --> 01:25:05,179
not knowing what was wrong
with my son.

1248
01:25:05,302 --> 01:25:07,677
Not knowing
his medical condition.

1249
01:25:07,927 --> 01:25:09,468
Him having seizures.

1250
01:25:09,969 --> 01:25:13,427
And for that moment,
I almost lost him.

1251
01:25:15,552 --> 01:25:16,552
I did.

1252
01:25:18,052 --> 01:25:19,552
I really did.

1253
01:25:22,802 --> 01:25:24,886
Because who does that?

1254
01:25:28,427 --> 01:25:30,385
Who does that?

1255
01:25:33,094 --> 01:25:34,886
And then go criticize me...

1256
01:25:38,218 --> 01:25:42,677
make me look like I'm nobody.
I don't understand.

1257
01:25:44,594 --> 01:25:45,635
Who does that?

1258
01:25:51,343 --> 01:25:53,011
I don't think that

1259
01:25:53,302 --> 01:25:55,760
Anna Stubblefield
truly recognized

1260
01:25:55,844 --> 01:26:00,260
how she devalued my brother
and also devalued my family.

1261
01:26:01,927 --> 01:26:03,385
It's one thing to...

1262
01:26:06,011 --> 01:26:08,927
hear Anna Stubblefield say,
"Derrick and I love each other."

1263
01:26:09,510 --> 01:26:10,677
Just like...

1264
01:26:11,760 --> 01:26:15,886
But as the details of what
actually transpired unfold

1265
01:26:15,969 --> 01:26:20,177
that she was in her office,
she had this mat on the floor,

1266
01:26:20,468 --> 01:26:23,177
and then you recall
that moment or that day

1267
01:26:23,260 --> 01:26:25,343
where I was changing
Derrick's diaper

1268
01:26:25,427 --> 01:26:27,802
and I saw these abrasions
on his back.

1269
01:26:29,136 --> 01:26:31,844
Strawberries, like somebody's
dragging you across the floor.

1270
01:26:32,844 --> 01:26:34,886
And we couldn't figure out

1271
01:26:34,969 --> 01:26:36,844
where the heck
these things came from.

1272
01:26:37,302 --> 01:26:39,719
We called the school.
"Did Derrick fall down?"

1273
01:26:39,802 --> 01:26:41,094
"Did something happen
at the school?"

1274
01:26:41,179 --> 01:26:42,302
"Did somebody hit my brother?"

1275
01:26:42,385 --> 01:26:43,635
And they're like,
"No, there was no--"

1276
01:26:43,719 --> 01:26:44,927
"Nothing happened.
We don't know."

1277
01:26:45,052 --> 01:26:46,427
Prosecutor was trying
to figure out what happened

1278
01:26:46,510 --> 01:26:47,802
and the story comes out, "Oh,

1279
01:26:47,927 --> 01:26:49,635
something happened
in the office."

1280
01:26:50,510 --> 01:26:52,218
And I mean, this woman,

1281
01:26:52,594 --> 01:26:54,635
140, 150 pounds-- I don't know
how much she weighs,

1282
01:26:54,719 --> 01:26:56,719
but she's much heavier than him.

1283
01:26:57,052 --> 01:26:59,179
Derrick is light,
he's five-three, five-four.

1284
01:26:59,343 --> 01:27:02,094
And she was exerting
so much force on him

1285
01:27:02,179 --> 01:27:05,510
that his back was being
drug across this mat

1286
01:27:05,594 --> 01:27:07,260
and it was leaving scars.

1287
01:27:26,552 --> 01:27:28,927
That woman did not give
a damn about my brother.

1288
01:27:39,343 --> 01:27:42,052
I didn't think
I was gonna be convicted,

1289
01:27:42,179 --> 01:27:44,136
but I wear contacts,

1290
01:27:44,218 --> 01:27:47,218
and that morning
when the jury came back,

1291
01:27:47,844 --> 01:27:52,177
I did put my glasses
in my purse.

1292
01:27:52,719 --> 01:27:55,136
It was my one
little concession to,

1293
01:27:55,468 --> 01:27:59,179
if I ended up in prison,
I needed my glasses.

1294
01:28:01,802 --> 01:28:06,052
I think by the time
the verdict actually came...

1295
01:28:07,760 --> 01:28:09,343
I was expecting it.

1296
01:28:12,677 --> 01:28:15,343
When the jury
read the conviction,

1297
01:28:15,552 --> 01:28:18,427
I started saying out loud
to the judge just, you know,

1298
01:28:18,510 --> 01:28:20,760
"Please, let me take care
of my daughter," you know,

1299
01:28:20,844 --> 01:28:23,677
"Just please, let me
take care of my daughter."

1300
01:29:00,343 --> 01:29:04,635
Never doubted her.
No, not for an instant.

1301
01:29:06,468 --> 01:29:10,802
I mean, I watched her interact
with people her whole life

1302
01:29:11,552 --> 01:29:12,760
and she is...

1303
01:29:16,552 --> 01:29:19,218
as compassionate a person
as I've ever known.

1304
01:29:20,969 --> 01:29:24,760
And there's no way-- I mean,
she's never harmed anybody.

1305
01:29:26,385 --> 01:29:29,385
And there's certainly no way
she would've harmed DMan.

1306
01:29:30,468 --> 01:29:33,760
Do you think
she believed that he was typing?

1307
01:29:34,510 --> 01:29:38,844
Yeah, in her wicked mind.
In her wicked mind.

1308
01:29:52,594 --> 01:29:55,177
The State versus
Marjorie Anna Stubblefield,

1309
01:29:55,260 --> 01:29:58,427
indictment number 13-1-44.

1310
01:29:59,343 --> 01:30:00,760
We are here today
for the sentencing

1311
01:30:00,844 --> 01:30:02,468
of Marjorie Anna Stubblefield.

1312
01:30:06,011 --> 01:30:06,927
Yes, Your Honor.

1313
01:30:07,011 --> 01:30:08,178
The victim's brother,
John Johnson,

1314
01:30:08,385 --> 01:30:09,385
would like to address the court.

1315
01:30:09,552 --> 01:30:10,844
His mother would like
to approach

1316
01:30:10,927 --> 01:30:13,011
and stand with him
while he addresses the court.

1317
01:30:13,094 --> 01:30:14,011
That's fine.

1318
01:30:18,302 --> 01:30:19,385
Good afternoon,
Your Honor.

1319
01:30:19,760 --> 01:30:21,760
Good afternoon.

1320
01:30:22,136 --> 01:30:23,927
"Thirty-four years ago,
a doctor said

1321
01:30:24,011 --> 01:30:26,468
my brother would not live
to see his third birthday."

1322
01:30:27,136 --> 01:30:29,969
"Those doctors
and the devil are liars."

1323
01:30:30,552 --> 01:30:31,594
"My brother, since then,

1324
01:30:31,677 --> 01:30:33,427
has grown to become
a loving person."

1325
01:30:34,136 --> 01:30:37,052
"He is a beautiful brother,
and he is a beautiful son."

1326
01:30:37,969 --> 01:30:39,178
"I don't think Anna understood

1327
01:30:39,218 --> 01:30:41,260
the depth of pain
she caused my family."

1328
01:30:41,510 --> 01:30:43,969
"She tried to lay claim to him
and rename him."

1329
01:30:45,136 --> 01:30:47,136
"She tried to supplant
Derrick's life."

1330
01:30:47,635 --> 01:30:49,011
"A life steeped..."

1331
01:30:55,552 --> 01:30:56,635
Take your time.

1332
01:30:56,719 --> 01:30:59,178
Take your time.

1333
01:31:00,385 --> 01:31:01,719
"A life steeped
in the history

1334
01:31:01,802 --> 01:31:03,510
and culture of his God-fearing,

1335
01:31:03,802 --> 01:31:06,635
Southern-rooted
African American family."

1336
01:31:07,178 --> 01:31:08,218
"She tried to supplant that

1337
01:31:08,302 --> 01:31:10,468
with some version of life
she thought was better."

1338
01:31:11,844 --> 01:31:13,844
"We need to disenchant ourselves
from the notion

1339
01:31:13,969 --> 01:31:16,427
that Anna Stubblefield
is some tragic shero."

1340
01:31:16,719 --> 01:31:19,927
"Anna is not Sandra Bullock
and this is not The Blind Side."

1341
01:31:20,176 --> 01:31:22,510
"Derrick is not some
poor Black kid from the ghetto

1342
01:31:22,594 --> 01:31:24,260
that needs someone to save him."

1343
01:31:25,427 --> 01:31:28,343
"An able-bodied woman
raped a disabled young man

1344
01:31:28,594 --> 01:31:32,011
that could not consent to sex.
You were wrong, Anna."

1345
01:31:32,094 --> 01:31:34,760
"You committed a crime,
there is no gray area."

1346
01:31:35,052 --> 01:31:36,176
"In closing, thank you,
Your Honor,

1347
01:31:36,260 --> 01:31:38,343
for helping bring this ordeal
to a close."

1348
01:31:45,635 --> 01:31:47,176
I have read
and received letters

1349
01:31:47,260 --> 01:31:49,677
from the former husband
of the defendant

1350
01:31:49,760 --> 01:31:53,677
who wrote a very compelling
impact statement.

1351
01:31:54,594 --> 01:31:57,052
"I believe that Anna
is a pathological liar

1352
01:31:57,136 --> 01:31:58,176
and narcissist."

1353
01:31:58,343 --> 01:31:59,635
"She will stop at nothing

1354
01:31:59,719 --> 01:32:02,176
to fool the court
and seek vindication

1355
01:32:02,260 --> 01:32:05,343
regardless of the emotional
and financial expense

1356
01:32:05,635 --> 01:32:08,760
to her family
or the primary victim's family."

1357
01:32:09,011 --> 01:32:10,468
"Clearly I am distraught,

1358
01:32:10,719 --> 01:32:13,510
but this, and the impact
on my immediate family,

1359
01:32:13,677 --> 01:32:15,635
I leave it to the wisdom
of the court

1360
01:32:15,719 --> 01:32:17,552
to determine a just sentence."

1361
01:32:20,719 --> 01:32:22,218
Miss Stubblefield, please stand.

1362
01:32:28,011 --> 01:32:29,635
As to count one,

1363
01:32:30,052 --> 01:32:32,343
first-degree
aggravated sexual assault

1364
01:32:32,427 --> 01:32:34,260
where the victim
was physically helpless

1365
01:32:34,343 --> 01:32:36,176
or mentally incapacitated,

1366
01:32:36,886 --> 01:32:40,302
I sentence you to 12 years
in New Jersey State Prison.

1367
01:32:40,969 --> 01:32:42,011
As to count two,

1368
01:32:42,510 --> 01:32:45,760
I sentence you to 12 years
New Jersey State Prison

1369
01:32:45,844 --> 01:32:47,719
concurrent with count one.

1370
01:32:48,468 --> 01:32:50,343
After you are released
from prison,

1371
01:32:50,427 --> 01:32:52,886
you are placed on parole
supervision for life.

1372
01:33:20,052 --> 01:33:21,927
I never thought
that she was a predator.

1373
01:33:23,886 --> 01:33:26,343
She truly believed
that what she was doing

1374
01:33:26,427 --> 01:33:28,844
was in Derrick's best interest.

1375
01:33:29,760 --> 01:33:32,635
She thought
that he deserves the opportunity

1376
01:33:32,760 --> 01:33:34,302
to have a life outside of,

1377
01:33:34,594 --> 01:33:36,136
you know,
living with his mother.

1378
01:33:37,178 --> 01:33:39,343
But I think that given
what I observed

1379
01:33:39,427 --> 01:33:41,594
and what I learned
from his record,

1380
01:33:41,927 --> 01:33:44,635
I think that it would have been
a false life with Anna.

1381
01:33:46,802 --> 01:33:49,468
I think that
she was a unfortunate victim

1382
01:33:49,552 --> 01:33:53,094
of a methodology
that's very problematic.

1383
01:33:55,218 --> 01:33:57,635
However she interpreted
what was going on

1384
01:33:57,719 --> 01:34:00,302
and whether she actually had
those conversations with him,

1385
01:34:00,510 --> 01:34:03,136
I don't know. But she--
You know, from my perspective,

1386
01:34:03,176 --> 01:34:05,052
she was having
conversations with herself.

1387
01:34:06,886 --> 01:34:09,677
And, you know, I mean...

1388
01:34:09,760 --> 01:34:11,260
...I don't know
where do you even go with that.

1389
01:35:12,760 --> 01:35:15,552
When I first
came out of prison,

1390
01:35:15,635 --> 01:35:17,677
I managed to pick up
a waitressing job,

1391
01:35:17,760 --> 01:35:19,927
and then there was some
publicity around

1392
01:35:20,094 --> 01:35:22,302
when I did the plea bargain
and I was sentenced in

1393
01:35:22,385 --> 01:35:24,510
and one of their customers
complained

1394
01:35:24,594 --> 01:35:26,094
and so they let me go.

1395
01:35:26,927 --> 01:35:31,677
So I was doing that kind
of thing for the first year,

1396
01:35:32,343 --> 01:35:34,427
and then-- Well, I do have,

1397
01:35:34,927 --> 01:35:38,468
you know, what's now,
kind of part-time work.

1398
01:35:38,552 --> 01:35:41,176
I'm working at home,
nobody knows me,

1399
01:35:41,677 --> 01:35:44,719
and so, you know, that's okay.

1400
01:35:44,802 --> 01:35:46,760
But it's, you know,
it's not teaching.

1401
01:35:48,178 --> 01:35:50,886
That was my whole identity.
That was everything.

1402
01:35:58,176 --> 01:36:01,635
I don't know what DMan's life
is like now.

1403
01:36:03,343 --> 01:36:05,011
As far as his mother
and brother,

1404
01:36:05,136 --> 01:36:07,552
I think they had
to really decide

1405
01:36:07,844 --> 01:36:10,969
that he wasn't intelligent,
and he wasn't typing,

1406
01:36:11,052 --> 01:36:13,385
and it was all a fraud
and a hoax.

1407
01:36:15,260 --> 01:36:16,510
A friend of mine

1408
01:36:16,594 --> 01:36:18,343
who is another--
Who's somebody else

1409
01:36:18,427 --> 01:36:20,552
who uses facilitated
communication who...

1410
01:36:20,635 --> 01:36:22,635
who'd knew DMan
and was friends with DMan.

1411
01:36:22,719 --> 01:36:25,468
And he said, "Look, I--

1412
01:36:25,760 --> 01:36:28,552
If I was DMan,
I would rather have,

1413
01:36:29,802 --> 01:36:33,552
you know, had the relationship
with you and lost it

1414
01:36:33,635 --> 01:36:36,136
than never to have had it
in the first place."

1415
01:36:36,802 --> 01:36:39,886
So I hope that he's right,
you know.

1416
01:36:40,969 --> 01:36:43,178
But... yeah.

1417
01:36:55,927 --> 01:36:58,552
People don't think
that there was damage done.

1418
01:36:58,677 --> 01:36:59,635
Yes, there was.

1419
01:37:01,260 --> 01:37:03,552
And it's still going on.

1420
01:37:05,052 --> 01:37:06,844
I had to put him on medication.

1421
01:37:08,176 --> 01:37:09,427
Because he...

1422
01:37:11,011 --> 01:37:12,218
masturbates.

1423
01:37:14,052 --> 01:37:15,468
He has this urge

1424
01:37:15,552 --> 01:37:18,427
and, you know, it's like a itch
that he can't scratch.

1425
01:37:18,927 --> 01:37:22,886
And it's hard enough
to give him a life

1426
01:37:23,427 --> 01:37:25,302
without him going through that.

1427
01:37:26,218 --> 01:37:27,635
And she did that.

1428
01:37:29,677 --> 01:37:33,510
Because if you don't ever strike
that match or do whatever,

1429
01:37:33,594 --> 01:37:34,927
how will you ever know?

1430
01:37:41,136 --> 01:37:44,094
Showing all your muscles, huh?
You good?

1431
01:37:46,427 --> 01:37:47,343
Ready?

1432
01:37:49,176 --> 01:37:51,343
One of the tough things
about this whole process

1433
01:37:51,427 --> 01:37:53,802
is that there was this idea

1434
01:37:53,927 --> 01:37:57,094
that, "Oh, he can do
all these wonderful things."

1435
01:38:00,260 --> 01:38:02,135
And then to have to--

1436
01:38:02,510 --> 01:38:04,594
Looking at everything
that was taking place

1437
01:38:04,677 --> 01:38:07,178
then say, "But he can't."

1438
01:38:08,094 --> 01:38:09,510
You gotta walk like...

1439
01:38:11,468 --> 01:38:12,302
All right.

1440
01:38:13,760 --> 01:38:15,011
In a sense, I kind of felt

1441
01:38:15,094 --> 01:38:17,011
as though
I was diminishing his value,

1442
01:38:17,135 --> 01:38:18,260
you know, Derrick can't do that.

1443
01:38:18,385 --> 01:38:21,260
...pick 'em up and put 'em down.
Pick 'em up.

1444
01:38:22,343 --> 01:38:25,886
Going through that process
of having to recognize that,

1445
01:38:26,011 --> 01:38:29,385
"Damn, he is really disabled."
And that's fine.

1446
01:38:30,760 --> 01:38:33,635
He can't do all other things
that other people can do

1447
01:38:33,719 --> 01:38:35,468
and that's perfectly fine

1448
01:38:35,552 --> 01:38:37,385
because we're gonna
be all right, regardless.

1449
01:38:39,135 --> 01:38:41,927
Okay.

1450
01:38:43,802 --> 01:38:45,802
Oh, you're gonna
show 'em that smile?

1451
01:38:47,510 --> 01:38:49,385
Yeah, say, "Here I am!"

1452
01:38:50,176 --> 01:38:52,760
Did psychiatrists determine

1453
01:38:52,844 --> 01:38:55,343
that Derrick
was deemed incapable

1454
01:38:55,510 --> 01:38:58,176
and incompetent
of taking care of himself?

1455
01:38:58,343 --> 01:38:59,802
Well, I knew.

1456
01:39:01,677 --> 01:39:02,635
I knew.

1457
01:39:03,260 --> 01:39:08,176
And knowing, and accepting it,
and just embrace him.

1458
01:39:08,260 --> 01:39:11,260
Just love him for who he is.

1459
01:39:12,176 --> 01:39:14,385
No matter what or how...

1460
01:39:16,427 --> 01:39:18,886
strong he gets,
he's still my child.

1461
01:39:19,052 --> 01:39:22,427
He will always have
that younger mindset.

1462
01:39:22,802 --> 01:39:25,094
And I-- You know,
he is 40 years old

1463
01:39:26,011 --> 01:39:28,594
and that's where we are.

1464
01:39:38,510 --> 01:39:42,135
You good?

1465
01:39:42,176 --> 01:39:45,427
And I don't love him no less,
and I don't love him no more.

1466
01:39:45,677 --> 01:39:50,635
He is my baby.
He is my baby.